Did you say flower? Groovy baby, Austin Powers!
My brain feels bad all the time
open.spotify.com/track/1IJFm…
Just saw my neighbor tossing his bulldog around, picking him up off the ground by his leash connected to his collar, and telling the dog that he was “getting on [his] fucking nerve.” How about I take your last nerve and toss it around like you toss that dog around??? Shitbag.
still can’t believe that i opened my microwave this morning to cook a jimmy dean croissant sandwich, only to find a defrosted jimmy dean croissant sandwich that I put in the microwave the day before, defrosted according to package instructions, and forgot to finish cooking 🤪
I’m sorry, since when exactly did middle and high schools start doing gender reassignment surgery on children?? Why are your kids going away to school for multiple days at a time? Is this about boarding schools? What is he ever talking about??
Fully regretting the king size Reese’s and KitKats I ate last night. I could have sworn there was a rule that chocolate isn’t allowed to upset your tummy when you’re on your period.
morgz retweeted
i know i’m gonna be alone forever because one time i went on a date with a guy who told me he was an optometrist for the veterans association and i said “haven’t they seen enough”
Just trying to get back into therapy after being out of it for like two years and of course I went to use @talkspace because it’s covered through my employer, but the website refuses to accept my payment card and continually tells me the info I entered was wrong. So dumb.
And I’ve tried multiple different cards and quadruple checked that everything was correct. But no luck. @talkspace FIX PLEAse 😭
Me, having no idea why my stomach hurts, meanwhile I have consumed 2 cups of coffee, a Diet Coke, and a slice of cake 🙂