amanda retweeted
Inventor of moscow mule: I'll have another vodka and ginger beer please.
Bartender: *sighing* do you need it in your-
Inventor of moscow mule: If you don't put it in my big shiny cup I am going to send you to god
amanda retweeted
Too many people think the grass is greener somewhere else but the grass is green where you water it.
amanda retweeted
the girls who organized the prom dress facebook groups should be in charge of distributing the vaccine
amanda retweeted
The lighter penguin is an elderly female whose partner died this year. The darker one is a younger male who lost his partner two years ago. Biologists have followed them as they meet every night to comfort each other. They stand for hours together watching the lights in Melbourne

































