Abby Pfeiffer

So THAT’S how @chipgaines is able to do so much!! He stores all his energy in rural Illinois.

After a two-hour delay, it’s finally almost time. #tourofmythicality #HappyBirthdayToMe

Listened to episode 34 last night and you talked about #solareclipse2017 follow up. Will that happen? @BradyHaran @cgpgrey @HelloInternetFM

My life has become so much more efficient since "poop" and "fart" were added to text suggestions in iOS10. #Thankful

I FINALLY found it!!! Now just waiting for nap time to enjoy it. #Shiplap @chippergaines @joannagaines

The checkout lady at Walmart started trying to tickle my husband to make our son laugh. #ThatHappened

My plastic costume melted to a lightbulb at my mom's boss's house. The lightbulb exploded and I almost caught on fire. #CrappyHalloween

Imagine how surprising it must have been for the person who discovered popcorn.

Finished #CursedChild. I'm sure it would be amazing to see as a play, but felt gimmicky to read.

I will now stay off social media until I am done with this book. #CursedChild #NoSpoilers

FINALLY #CursedChild

Why can't kids' cup makers and cup holder makers just get together and agree on a size?

We might be hundreds of miles from @chippergaines and @joannagaines but we can still celebrate #DemoDay!

Don't you feel so sorry for the people who lived before ice cream was invented?

Oh, Britain. What have you done?

I wish we had our own home improvement show so repairmen would show up the day we called them.

My mouth got a taste of the first five minutes of the Hunger Games at the dentist today. #Bloodbath

Sometimes I think about doing sedation dentistry just so I can take a nap.