Joined May 2019
oatmeal influencer retweeted
when i ask 3yo not to say “shut up” he says “well the shut up man is coming tomorrow and going to say shut up to you”. kind of difficult to respond to that. if i ask who the shut up man is, he says “oh you don’t know???” and laughs at me. feels like bullying
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oatmeal influencer retweeted
I think it’s worth mentioning that this is the same account that was whining last month about how a group of teenage girls working in a smoothie shop didn’t ooh and ahh over her baby enough
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(husband is mortified)
My friend wants to plan a couples, no-kids weekend getaway, splitting the cost of a large AirBNB, in January for her 30th birthday. I really do not love this idea (husband is mortified), neither to spend the money nor to get someone to take the toddler for 3 days. It would be a 2.5 hour drive away for us, too, so it’s not like we’re close if something happens. I haven’t been away from him for even 1 night yet and he still just seems so young! It would be very hard to leave him for that long. Am I just a party pooper who needs to get over it? Genuine question. Like I actually need advice here guys
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oatmeal influencer retweeted
I would hate to be y'all's friends, simply not going and planning a dinner with them earlier would have sufficed, Tweeting about how you passively aggressively think I'm doing too much for my birthday & getting people to shit on my birthday plans bc you & ur husband suck is nuts
My friend wants to plan a couples, no-kids weekend getaway, splitting the cost of a large AirBNB, in January for her 30th birthday. I really do not love this idea (husband is mortified), neither to spend the money nor to get someone to take the toddler for 3 days. It would be a 2.5 hour drive away for us, too, so it’s not like we’re close if something happens. I haven’t been away from him for even 1 night yet and he still just seems so young! It would be very hard to leave him for that long. Am I just a party pooper who needs to get over it? Genuine question. Like I actually need advice here guys
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oatmeal influencer retweeted
me following serbian and brazilian elections from vienna, austria
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oatmeal influencer retweeted
this is so bleak
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oatmeal influencer retweeted
Advisors told him it was getting too gay
Donald Trump says Nicki Minaj has a “beautiful a**” in Port Huron, Michigan.
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oatmeal influencer retweeted
I realize it may not be common knowledge that in 2008 before Glee, Lea Michele debuted her Anthony Bordain inspired travel show where she traveled from Manhattan to Queens as a “borough travel junkie” for exactly one (1) episode that has been mostly scrubbed from the internet
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oatmeal influencer retweeted
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oatmeal influencer retweeted
toronto needs a mayor who will hang out at dufferin mall walmart
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Holy shit
Israel First Mike Rogers’ career is cooked after this Abdul El Sayed ad. This is brilliant.
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oatmeal influencer retweeted
Late stage capitalism is when people who bought up property and fucked the housing market go on strike because they can’t force their guests to do domestic labor
JUST IN: Airbnb hosts threaten to strike after the company bans them from forcing guests to wash dishes, strip beds, or take out trash before checkout.
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oatmeal influencer retweeted
you’re laughing. i can’t have my airbnb guests regrout my bathroom & power wash my siding & you’re laughing
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your hair’s looking a lot like mine
Billie Eilish debuts new haircut.
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oatmeal influencer retweeted
Your girl wearing a napoleonesque jacket from Zara
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eating 4 pop tarts before my run
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oatmeal influencer retweeted
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my wife is attending a wedding and has been providing me live coverage of her own psychological deterioration
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oatmeal influencer retweeted
"YOU'RE GAY!" clocking the weirdo recording her play i CANNOT
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oatmeal influencer retweeted
I think he’s gonna die in like 4 days
Trump: "If you don't want communists controlling the US Senate, which is between JAIIIIIIT"
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