Adam Levine (@aclevine86) header
Adam Levine (@aclevine86) profile picture

I seen two robots building each other.

Assorted Regions
Joined April 2010
When I lived in Chicago, Hamsey was my favorite live show. It made me laugh so hard. Big time recommend if you live in LA.
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There’s a point of view, popular in the business world, that a publication is just a collection of html pages and trademarked logos, and that the writers who create the writing are incidental, replaceable, and have nothing to do with the publication’s overall quality or success
The A.V. Club's new editor-in-chief told his primarily Chicago-based staff that they were being "invited" to join a Los Angeles office. gawker.com/media/av-club-tel…
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"not even on the right day"
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[trying to say merry christmas but getting it very wrong, not even on the right day] m’cingle
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[Grimace is running through McDonald's with a full head of hair] Grimace: Hide me! Children! Hide me! [He's tackled by police officers] Cop: Take him into the bathroom and get the scissors. Grimace [kicking as he's dragged into the bathroom]: They never let me keep my hair!
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Perfume Ad: A woman is putting on lipstick in her bedroom. Suddenly she starts sniffing the air. She follows the scent to the bed, looks under it, and sees the Dalai Lama hiding under there. He gives her the finger. Narrator: "Zoo Animal." The new fragrance by the Dalai Lama
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Neighbor listening to “Pop Goes The Weasel” on his stereo so loud it shakes the entire apartment building. Me [pounding on neighbor’s door]: WHAT SONG IS THAT??? WHAT SONG IS THAT???
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YouTube Video Title: Shirtless Man Eaten By Tiger (GRAPHIC) Comments: Where is the man’s shirt? Why doesn’t the man have a shirt?? Who took the man’s shirt off? Shirt gone Tiger in video looks pregnant When will the man put his shirt back on?
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Announcer: Now batting, Glimpton. [Glimpton steps to the plate. He’s got thick glasses and braces. His uniform has a pocket protector. Glimpton swings and hits a MASSIVE home run. He wheezes as he rounds the bases. When he reaches home, the catcher gives him a wedgie]
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A man is choking to death in a restaurant. Diners are screaming and crying as they watch the man die. A panicking waiter Googles "How to save choking victim" Google Results: Sorry, your search had 0 results. Did you mean "How to save CHORSTERING victim?"
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Walter Cronkite: My guest is Secretary of State Dean Rusk. Mr. Rusk is--stop that. [Dean Rusk is furiously licking his lips] WC: Mr. Rusk is--stop that! [Rusk continues licking his lips] WC: He's not gonna stop. Raise the chair. [Rusk's chair rises up and disappears out frame]
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In my mind, Dean Rusk continues licking his lips as the chair rises, and his chair slowly rises like a very long barber's chair and disappears through a hatch in the ceiling.
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[Ronald McDonald approaches a table where a family of 5 is eating] Ronald McDonald: Welcome to my hamburger restaurant. Do any of you like child pornography? FBI Agent Listening In On The Wire Ronald McDonald Is Secretly Wearing: That’s it Ronald, lure them in...
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[soft piano music plays] Austin Powers: Do I make you horny? Mexican Austin Powers: ¿Te pongo cachonda? Iranian Austin Powers: آیا من شما را شاخی می کنم؟ Chinese Austin Powers: 我会让你角质吗? Michelle Obama: What unites us is deeper than what divides us. Let's choose love
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Godzilla Vs. King Kong (2021): Godzilla (King Kong) gets into an argument with Godzilla and/or King Kong over the fate of a HUGE MONKEY named Godzilla/King Kong (Godzilla), and must battle and/or sit on King Kong (Godzilla) in order to kill Godzilla (Godzilla and/or Godzilla)
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Tokyo Resident [pointing at Godzilla as he stomps on buildings]: Everyone run! It's either Godzilla or King Kong!
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The nerds at NASA have invented a magic spell that can make an iguana comprehend the horror of the Manson murders
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Just found out that I'm based on a weird bird my parents saw in Spain one time.
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In an attempt to boost the economy, President Joe Biden has engaged the nation's "Big Head Mode," a secret Mode that will make every American's head the size of a minivan. "We will see if this makes the economy better," says Biden.
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