anima:XIRIUS

I'm no longer holding my tongue on the abuse I endured from my relationship with Nuphory (fka Volant). I am speaking out because Julie continues to violate my privacy by weaponizing an archive of all our interactions, texts and videos, spanning from when I was a minor and throughout our entire sexual relationship after. This includes years of compromising personal and sexual material, hundreds of pages that she has systematically archived and organizes to ensure my silence and maintain control over both me and the narrative surrounding our relationship. I never wanted to publicly speak about this trauma or my experience with her, the retaliation upon doing so means the publication of these materials. It has become immediately clear I do not have a choice. The allure of interacting and bonding with someone whose music I listened to and admired felt overwhelmingly validating to my teenage self-esteem, but as a result what developed was an all-encompasing age and power dynamic. I was 16 when we first started communicating, where she used both her age and established public presence to create a mentor-dependent relationship. We eventually started dating after I turned 19. She established a pattern of emotional abuse through outbursts of rage, gaslighting, humiliation, and shame, keeping me attached and dependent by blaming her extreme episodes on her neurodivergency and by threatening her suicide if I ever left. This was an environment where I believed her cruelty was either my fault or something she couldn't control, creating a trauma bond that convinced me I was dependent on her while she needed my support to survive. The impact this manipulation had on me was unilateral control and confusion of my life as she pressured me to question my own immediate experiences, gender and sexual identity, and reality, for which I am still under treatment for. During this time, I worked on her projects by creating visuals and artwork, managing logistics and helping with community events, which started with the two Volant albums. This is well before I was publicly known under the name Integra. I regularly experienced prolonged episodes and periods of complete social withdrawal and de-personalization where I would become isolated and distant from my peers due to the psychological toll. The social and creative proximity to her is what led me to delete my profiles, work, and public presence in 2022, as she transitioned away from Volant to establish herself in the communities I called home, all while lying about my character and the nature of our relationship to other artists. Eventually, nowhere felt safe for me to create, as all of my previous relationships and connections were torn down as a result of her campaign to socially isolate me and smear my character. Everyone I could turn to left me. There is no justification to the weaponization of my personal information, our exchanges, or our private sexual history to intimidate and silence me. I do not consent to my sexual material being retained on any devices. I am no longer ashamed of these encounters. I was far too young to understand who I was and what was happening. I'm no longer afraid. I have no other public statements to make regarding this matter per my legal counsel.