Ben Tweets

Central Air-Conditioning. Not a fan.

I like how websites will text you a code and a message that says "We will never ask you for this." Your website is literally asking me for it right now.

In the music video to The Jets "You Got It All," it would be funnier if right when she sings "You Got It All Over Him," one of the guys spilled soup or something all over one of the other guys.

Did @Lowes do this on purpose?

Some people like Imperial measurements and others like Metric. Make them both happy by saying measurements like "34 and 3/8 centimeters".

I was going to make a joke about a member of the Jackson Five but decided it was not germane.

Me when Microsoft Windows says I can't move a file because it is still open. #MondayVibes

Happy Easter #JesusIsKing #HeIsRisen #JesusSaves #JesusChrist

source: my cousin

The guys in Bucks Fizz looks like they both took turns starring in a movie with Ralph Macchio.

From the Meher Baba wiki page: "For decades he declined to speak and later refrained from communicating via written language. This practice has remained a topic of discussion among some of his followers."

Riddle: What kind of doctor is always busy but yet their practice has many openings?

Going to bring this to the airport and start some trouble

Why is it called Home "Economics"? It sounds like a real estate investment class. But really we made blueberry muffins and did crochet.

Writing a song about herbs. So far I have Parsley, Rosemary, and Thyme. What others should I include? Need some of your sage advice.

#NewYorkerCartoons #newyorkercaptioncontest #newyorker

"Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out." - Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

It's been a while since my studies. I always forget whether this is the First or Second Law of Lesbianics.