Bobby Hamby

My thoughts for each top 25 team: 1 Ohio St. - wagon wheel, they’ll rock you mama. 2. Miami - Taylor Swift. You’re either obsessed with them or you hate them. 3. Indiana - the Hoosiers are like peanut butter with chili, it doesn’t look like it belongs at all, but somehow, someway, it works. 4. Texas A&M - Elko Unlimited, cheap clothing ware, but you don’t want to mess with anyone wearing it. 5. Ole Miss - Ken from Barbie. Gets the job done, but has to try and look good doing it. Ain’t no GI Joe, though. 6. Alabama - A House Divided License plate. It ends up on the car, even the people that have it, don’t like it, but it works and grows on you, and you end up loving it enough to move on from your old license plate. 7. Texas Tech - The girl from high school who had a glow up in college. She was unapproachably ugly for the longest time. Now? She would eat you up and spit you out. 8. Oregon - Hipsters. We would win all of our big games, but that’s totes what everyone else would do. We didn’t get a duck mascot to become conformists now. 9. Georgia - A can of grizzly wintergreen. It’s ugly, it makes your head spin. But it’ll get you through a pinch…literally and figuratively. 10. LSU - a 1996 Toyota Carola. It runs…sometimes. It’ll pass inspection…technically. But you could do better and you know it. 11. Tennessee - Walmart. Anything you want, they got it. Best quality? Not really. Household names? Maybe. Gets the job done? Absolutely. 12. Georgia Tech - Waffle House. They’re rough. They’re tough. They’re always open and reliable and will save you from a 20 year hangover. 13. Notre Dame - A Used Luxury vehicle. Sure it was beat up early in its time, but it’ll still turn heads. 14. Oklahoma - Captain Hook. If they had a leader with two hands, they’d beat anyone. 15. BYU - Super Soakers. They are technically guns and would technically get you kicked out of school. But they aren’t the real thing. 16. Missouri - A Mechanical Bull. The real thing is extremely dangerous, but you can still get hurt on this bad boy - depending on who’s on the controls. 17. Vanderbilt - Moonshine. It’s dangerous. It’s illegal. It’s more than you bargained for. 18. Virginia - Wack-a-Mole. They have no defense, but good luck stopping all those moles over and over again. 19. USF - The freshman on Varsity. The kid can play, but for some reason, no one respects him yet. 20. USC - Pinball machine. They’re in, they’re out, they’re being shot through a high score tunnel. They will eventually settle in and be fun to play. 21. Texas - Mapquest. They’ll get you to a destination, but it’s probably not where you were going and you won’t belong where you arrive. 22. Memphis - USF’s plus one to the party. We all know you’re here because of the Bulls, but you’re not too bad yourself. 23. Utah - raking leaves. Just when you think you’re finished with them…they’re back. 24. Cincinnati - Guess Who game. We need some more clues, to guess who they are. 25. Nebraska - Soinx gas station. At first, they were trying to be someone they’re not. Then they realized that they could be good in their own right, they leaned into who they were…but HAD to be by every QT.