big gulp ceo

i can only give you reassurance on the same topic so many times before you convince me that you’re really not cut out for this shit

i will never relate to people who are chronic victims. just say you’re not resilient and get the fuck out of my face

yall mind if i post some obscure hate tweets rq?

if you are watching me run around doing 80 things at work and you still follow me all the way back to my desk to interrupt with a random question that can easily be googled……i will tear your fucking nipples off and shove them up your ass

i can feel her coming. the bitch that is Not In The Mood

i am the king of buying shit tons of expensive makeup and never wearing it #lazy #hoarder anyways check out my latest eyeshadow purchase :3

believe it or not guys sometimes i am Hard To Be Around

when the vyvanse obliterates my appetite, eggo protein waffles save me

yall mind if i wear some high waisted baggies today? don’t kill me

i wasn’t kidding about beating his ass btw

you’re in his DMs i am literally beating his ass

guys i genuinely cannot make this any clearer: i have a Certified Cuck boyfriend. he wants me to fuck you more than i want to fuck you. everybody say THANK YOU FOR SHARING

there is an alternate universe in which i am getting a law degree instead of a phd. can yall imagine how much bitchier i’d be? SHEEEESH yall should be thanking me fr

fit check w a male prop @xisforpvp

today’s Big Gulp Ltd. agenda: lose 20 followers

yeah these are my moots #whataboutit #proudmoot

pickles for breakfast got my tummy burnin