Big Ike

Here is a movie review you probably will not like: We watched Tyler Perry's movie 'Straw' the other night. I personally enjoyed it. I understand people said it seemed like too much was happening, but I realized how easily Tiraji P. Henson's part could have been played by Madea.

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Happy Father's Day to fathers and father figures. We see you, we appreciate you.

They say if you shoot for the moon, you should wind up among the stars. The truth is if you shoot for the moon, you run the risk of being charged for discharging a weapon within city limits.

I use the Oxford comma. It's a lot like recycling: I don't know if I am truly making a difference, but I feel better when I do.

I am getting nonstop texts from Nikki Haley. I didn't even give her my number!

Offered without commentary.

If there is another Civil War, the uniforms probably won't be as cool as the original Civil War. I am picturing different random apparel like G.I. Joe.

I know I can't be the only one who heard people saying they wanted a Stanley cup and you wondered when they became a fan of hockey.

It is illegal to touch, feed, hunt,or harass a manatee. The question was posed "What if a manatee touches you?" Experts on the subject say you should just avoid contact. I for one am not accepting harassment from a manatee and am prepared to defend myself!

I am wondering if the other coaches are going to keep quiet now after the Colorado/Colorado State game or is someone going to bring up how Coach Prime used to rock a Jheri curl?

The middle boy is trying to solve a Rubik's cube and asked me for help. It isn't going to be long now before he realizes I am a moron.

If you thought it was bad that movie studios keep pumping out new versions of superhero movies, just look at the last several Liam Neeson movies. They all are pretty much the movie Taken, but called something else.

Rent A Center is running a promo for their 50th anniversary with 50 days of new products. One product you could rent to own is a pair of Air Jordans. I would hate to be out and the dude from Rent A Center taps you on your shoulder because you are behind in your sneaker payments.

I can help you write a dating app bio if you need. Here is an example: "I am hilarious like a comedian's set on a late night talk show. And also like the comedy set, I am a tight 5."

If you are 5'3 and 350 pounds, why can't the government pay for fudge rounds? That sounds like a program I could support. It can be presented to the Senate as the "Let Them Eat Cake" bill.

The Browns/Eagles game was like Father's Day: I started out with high hopes, but in the end got a lousy tie.

I know people joke about that "She's paying for everything" pose you see couples waiting in line doing. Kids will do the same thing if they think they have a chance at getting some Takis and Pokemon cards.

I think the only positive thing to come out of how the Tuohy family manipulated Michael Oher is that they didn't harvest his organs.