NHL Rumor Bot

hi everyone frank seravalli lying to us about the panthers/blackhawks draft pick is yet another reminder that i’m the only 100% honest and non-obese nhl source stay tuned for more news in 2027

Huge congrats to Artemi Panarin on recording 80+ points 4 seasons in a row. #NYR #ALLCAPS

Cody Glass is being traded to the New Jersey Devils.

Gary Bettman has traded the trade deadline to the NHLPA in exchange for more escrow money. This is now a free economy and everything is happening.

Hearing that the Carolina Hurricanes have taken Mikko Rantanen out back and shot him. Nothing ever happens.

Wyatt Johnston AND Thomas Harley are being traded to the Carolina Hurricanes for Rantanen, per multiple sources.

BREAKING: Brad Marchand is being traded to the Vegas Golden Knights, per multiple sources familiar with the situation. The Bruins and their captain Marchand could not come to terms on an extension, and ultimately stun the hockey world by trading the lifelong Bruin to #VegasBorn.

HERTL (Game #1085) - 4 / 8 🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 hertl.app can we please get a trade

hearing that someone might make a trade or they might not, can we please get a real trade and not one that’s another “Trent Frederic”, nothing ever happens 😩

Hearing Pius Suter and Elias Pettersson are being traded to the Dallas Stars.

Hearing there is a slight delay in finalizing the JT Miller trade, Elias Pettersson has been begging to keep him. The trade will still happen but Pettersson and Miller have gone back to their hotel room to have one last suck and canuck session. Everything is happening.

BREAKING: JT Miller has been traded to the New York Rangers in exchange for Alexis Lafreniere, Ryan Lindgren, and a 2025 1st round pick.

#ALLCAPS claim Tony DeAngelo off waivers.

BREAKING: The Vancouver Canucks have traded Elias Pettersson to the Colorado Avalanche. Casey Mittelstadt and Seth Jones are the big names in the return per multiple sources.

BREAKING: Peter Laviolette has been fired by the New York Rangers, sources tell CTESPN.

The Colorado Avalanche have sent Alexander Georgiev to hell, he was a sinner

Lane Hutson has been arrested by French Canadian police following last night’s 7-2 loss to the Rangers. Hutson has been charged with 4 counts of Bad Defense and 1 count of Figure Skating. The Blues will bail him out before their upcoming game against Montreal.

The Washington Capitals have signed Jakob Chychrun to a 8 year, $56 million contract extension. The Senators have folded The Capitals have also made Chychrun their nutritionist, as they hope his diet can turn the entire team into superhuman freaks and win multiple Stanley Cups.

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