i spent 12 minutes coming up with this

chattanooga, tn usa
Joined September 2009
JUST IN: 13 Penn State fraternity brothers charged with running a major cocaine trafficking ring, with some pledges allegedly forced to cut & package cocaine as part of their “indoctrination” into the frats.
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Freddy is back!!! You bring such joy to most people. Unfortunately, there will always be a few that want to ruin even the best of things. Even fewer, but sometimes louder, have nothing better to do than tear people down. Gotta just ignore those folks. Enjoy the rest of your trip
Hello again. We’re currently in Clemson, South Carolina. I’ve decided to come back here to document the final part of our road trip. The main reason I deactivated my account two weeks ago was that things became increasingly toxic. For some people, it’s unfortunately unfathomable that a good story can exist without some kind of hidden agenda behind it. There was even a Reddit group going through my entire account trying to find anything they could use to reveal my identity. I know this was only a small percentage of people, but after a while it became exhausting. During the last two weeks, I received so many kind messages on Instagram, and they really made me realize how many people genuinely enjoyed following the trip. Some people even told me that their grandparents regularly ask them, “What are the Germans up to today?” I think that’s really cool. I decided to continue because I realized that the overwhelming majority of people loved following along. A small group of very loud people shouldn’t be able to ruin something that brought so many others joy. I also want to clear something up, as people who follow me on Instagram already know. I’ve been to the United States before. This is not my first visit, and I’ve never claimed that it was. The last time I was here was in January 2022, when I visited New York and Philadelphia. A lot of people shared my Raising Cane’s post from November 2025 to make it look like I was secretly American. That post wasn’t from the United States, it was from my trip to Saudi Arabia. This is my first time back in the U.S. in more than four years, and apart from Boston, I’d never visited any of the places we’ve been to on this trip before. That’s probably why many people assumed it was our first time in America, because for all of these places, it actually was. And let me tell you, Ohio and Alabama are very different from New York City or Los Angeles. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Thanks for reading.
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You haven't lived until you've watched Uzbekistan vs Congo live in the #worldcup
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“England historically has struggled here in Massachusetts” — #WorldCup announcer on Fox 👀
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Everybody excited about the @SpaceX IPO, I'm just hoping I get in on the Freddy memecoin
Quite the surreal morning in New Orleans today. We got a tour of the Saints and Pelicans facilities. Thank you so much for giving us this opportunity. Once in a lifetime.
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1. Be born in Europe 2. Travel to America 3. Post to social media 4. Profit The new American dream. Just sad I didn't run you in Chattanooga.
The travel group with Buc-ee🦫
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The political party that bans paid parking for events I've already paid to attend will get me engaged with politics again. #crotchety #oldman
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One day, I'll look back fondly on the #crypto crash of 2026 from my private island. Shutter Island.
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The year was 2026. Vehicles still didn't have built in microwaves and mini fridges to take leftovers from vacation meals on road trips back home. But that was all about to change. Right? @Toyota @Ford @chevy @MazdaUSA @Kia @Tesla @Nissan
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People who yell during the back swing of a golfer should be banned from every golf course in the world. #WasteManagementOpen
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Spent thousands of dollars on cabinets/countertops @Lowes, told even though the color in their brochure wasn't what we wanted, that the manufacturer would paint the color we wanted. After several weeks of delays from the expected delivery date, they finally came. Guess what?...
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They weren't the color we wanted. Guess the salesman thought we would live with it. Sorry for him, we didn't. I went into the store and they begrudgingly refunded each cabinet. Took over an hour. Cancelled countertops too. Haven't set foot in Lowe's since.
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Seems like a pretty large waste of money to send my @FedEx package from Illinois to Tennessee to California when I live in Tennessee.
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Tremendous opportunity we have this weekend to make a HUGE impact in College Sports. Hispanic Heritage month, Hispanic QB and first Spanish broadcaster in Tennessee history. @CollegeGameDay @PatMcAfeeShow @ReceDavis @KirkHerbstreit I’m trying to teach yall ESPAÑOL. 🍊#VamosVols🍊
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My son just gave me a @werthers_orig. Glad my grandfather has reincarnated. #childhood
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I'm using my annual tweet (if you can call it that) to complain that you can't follow defending National Champs @Vol_Baseball on the @espn app because they don't have a @NCAABaseball section, and you have to search for their games.
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We can’t go to sleep without the ESPAÑOL call of the @Vol_Hoops win over @IlliniMBB. 🏀 what a great win and drive by Jordan. @benjyvol always clutch with the edit! 🍊#VamosVols means ALL sports! Yall enjoy and repost it!
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Hey @AD_DannyWhite, in these mid-week neutral site games, can the university not "donate" all those empty seat tickets to locals? Give them some orange merch? Make some VFLs across this great nation...
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‼️History in the making‼️ @Vol_Football & @TexasFootball will have Spanish broadcasting for the first ever 12 team @CFBPlayoff. Carlos Lopez (TENN) @Ruben_PizarroS (TX) will be on the call. I speak for my friend Ruben as well when we say God gets the credit🙌🏾 🍊#VAMOSVOLS🍊
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