@chriskort

Husband of @MeghanHarlow. Vegas enthusiast. Fan of NYG, NYM, NYR, and TOT. Michelin star collector. Burrito connoisseur.

 Smithtown, New York
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets2.6K
  • Following283
  • Followers182
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In 2017, I paid Cards Against Humanity to protect a pristine plot of border land from Trump’s racist wall. But then an even richer, more racist billionaire—Elon Musk—stole my land and dumped his shit all over it. @ElonMusk owes me $100. #ElonOwesMe100Bucks ElonOwesYou100Dollars.com
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. @OptumRx is the WORST. Decided that the medication that I was on for 3 years that worked flawlessly shouldn't be covered anymore, even though the other meds in the same category are covered! Greedy fat cats that value profits over people! All about the 💵💵💵
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Chris Kortmann retweeted
Richard Staff@RichardStaff20 Oct 2022
Liz Truss had such an awful 44 days that you’d think the Mets traded for her at the deadline
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Godot Jove@AC3ATTORN3Y24 Jul 2022
"Gen Z is obsessed with subtitles" man i cant fucking hear what the characters are saying bc nobody knows how to mix their fuckin audio
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Matt Davies@MatttDavies8 Jul 2022
I scream, you scream Newsday.com/matt
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We are in the midst of a multi-pronged, multi-level reactionary counter-mobilization that has a judicial arm, a political arm, an intellectual arm, and a paramilitary arm, all flanked by a highly effective media/propaganda machine. And it is rapidly accelerating. A thread:
Thomas Zimmer@tzimmer_history24 Jun 2022
It’s terrifying to live in a country where any revelation about how the former president tried to abolish democracy can only dominate the news cycle for about 12 hours because the multi-level reactionary assault on the civil rights order is continuing with such brutal speed.
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Weekend Update: Goober the Clown on Abortion - SNL youtu.be/exSZQICbSb8 via @YouTube
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Matt Davies@MatttDavies2 Dec 2021
Newsday.com/matt
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Scorigami
@NFL_Scorigami24 Oct 2021
HOU 5 - 31 ARI Final That's Scorigami!! It's the 1068th unique final score in NFL history.
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Misnomer@Misnomer24 Aug 2021
It’s gotta be the gabagool.
KMOX St. Louis News
@kmoxnews24 Aug 2021
Until the CDC can identify which Italian-style meats are making people sick, health officials say all Italian-style meats should be heated to an internal temperature of 165°F or until steaming hot before eating audacy.com/kmox/news/nationa…
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Eat. Sleep. Nachos. Repeat. 😋
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GIVEAWAY! 🐝 There has been so much love for my #NYTSpellingBee hat pattern, but not everyone knows how to knit—so I decided to create this special giveaway hat just for the Twitter #HiveMind! Just retweet this post to enter; I'll pick a random winner on Weds 8/25! 🙂 @thegridkid
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Matt Davies@MatttDavies13 Aug 2021
Newsday.com/matt
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“What if we patch and it breaks something.” What if you don’t patch and instead sabotage the productivity of your entire workforce for years through inexplicable software issues they learn to stop complaining about by the damning numbness of your IT department and its leadership.
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We have finally begun to move pinball machines out of our old location and into our new building on the Vegas Strip! We’ll announce opening dates soon. 🙌🏼
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One of the more funny/sad/tragic parts of this GameStop activity is the misplaced sense of populism. People really think they're busting Wall Street, and sticking it to The Man. No. Wall Street is profiting immensely, and the Man is getting much richer, thanks to you.
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