@cooterhog

gingivitis survivor • none of the opinions expressed here are my own

 she/her
Joined February 2010
  • Tweets33.3K
  • Following2.3K
  • Followers3.7K
3.3KMedia
Smoking on that shit that Paul Revered
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Giving marriage advice to my friends by telling them “be more of a bitch” and “let the rage consume you”
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The last thing I wanna hear out of anyone’s mouth is “in the kindest way possible”
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Randomly thought to myself that @fionaasshole would be a great @, and would you believe that I was not the first to come up with it
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feeble@_wannabe_sadOct 23
why would they make two little holes in the middle of my face that are perfectly finger shaped if i wasn’t supposed to stick my fingers in there? AND there’s treasure to be found? come on dawg
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never better@wiremxtherOct 22
ever since i swallowed that airpod i have to stop and look at my meds for a few seconds before i take them just to make sure they’re not another airpod
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Ok so all this time I thought David Guetta was the same person as David Archuletta
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Versatile bottoms designed to fit seamlessly
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pugsly@pugslyyyyyyOct 17
Statistically everyone has half of a vagina
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Donald J Trump sent me $500 ???
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Dying at this lady on love after lockup and her SUPER BITCH hat
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Max Bepis@gaylittlepigletOct 12
I was training a new dude yesterday and I said “god I’m so tired today” and he said “it’s from dragging that huge dick around” and I was like “hell yeah brother that’s what I’m talking about”
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I dreamed that I met Sabrina Carpenter and I made a very direct reference to one of her songs and she pretended not to understand which doesn’t seem like something she would do!
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Worcester, Mass is the San Francisco of New England
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Get ready with me as I exit the womb
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Ordered a drink and it came in a pig
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The White Mountains really put on a show this week.
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I will not be releasing a statement about any of the developments on here, so stop asking.
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The perfect leaf?
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I didn’t get a plus one for my sisters wedding which is fine because I wasn’t paying for someone to go to Jamaica but it pissed me off when she said “I don’t want a slut from Twitter at my wedding” Some of the nicest people I know are sluts from twitter
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I’m in New Hampshire and I’m foliage mogging you
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