Corporate Weapon (@corporateweapon) | teapawt

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponAug 19

I WILL NOT ACCEPT LESS THAN $300K I WILL NOT ACCEPT LESS THAN $300K I WILL NOT ACCEPT LESS THAN $300K

@unusual_whalesAug 19

Employers are using your personal data to figure out the lowest salary you'll accept, per MW

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 23

The agents when they get to my acc

@PolymarketOct 22

BREAKING: JPMorgan, Bank of America, Wells Fargo, & other major banks have reportedly detected unauthorized AI agents operating inside customer accounts.

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 22

When bro asks how my portfolio’s doing in front of the wife

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 21

Trying to convince the intern that everyone wears costumes to the office on Halloween

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 21

LinkedIn humour is so cooked

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 14

@PolymarketOct 13

JUST IN: Canadian PM Mark Carney reveals he’s considering “ramping up” immigration again amid concerns over Canada's slowing population growth.

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 13

Decided to add some geographical diversification to my portfolio a few months back and invest in the South Korean stock market. Haven’t checked on it since, but I’m sure it’s paying off 🙏

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 12

Mr. ✨Wonderful✨

@dieworkwearOct 11

this is how kevin o'leary dresses

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 12

What a bunch of bullsh— wait no, he’s right

@crankfaktoryOct 10

First date you gotta make her show you her TikTok algorithm because that is essentially what you will be dating.

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 12

Being into cars has to be the biggest financial nerf of all time. Spending well into six figures on your dream car, only to get rinsed on insurance, maintenance, gas, mods, etc. If only I was into collecting rocks or knitting instead.

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 12

Queens University nursing major girlfriend and Fort Mac oilfield boyfriend A common pairing in the Great White North

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 12

The 50yo MD after only inviting the female interns out for drinks

@johnsummitOct 11

i like adding hot women to my guest list to make the party better, sue me

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 11

Generational buying opportunity in toilet paper, underwear, and bidet stocks

@brewmarketsOct 8

Just In: Starbucks is exploring a takeover of Chipotle, per FT.

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 11

This exact question has been keeping me up at night. Thank you WSJ for putting my mind at ease 🙏

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 11

I have Monday deployment anxiety (man version of the Sunday scaries)

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 11

My high-dopamine activity is drinking coffee and looking at cars with a bunch of dudes

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 11

You know your life is cooked when you subconsciously add LinkedIn to your doomscroll rotation

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 10

Idea: being unemployed two days per week

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 10

How life feels after buying a bidet (personal anecdote)

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 10

Laughing a little harder at my VP’s jokes knowing my performance review is next week

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Corporate Weapon

@corporateweaponOct 10

You look like you have a real estate license (derogatory)

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