David DeJohn (@david_dejohn) header
David DeJohn (@david_dejohn) profile picture

David DeJohn

@david_dejohn
 theinterwebs
Joined January 2014
  • Tweets54
  • Following324
  • Followers40
Have an interview with the post office! I hope I dont completely bomb it. #goingpostal
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People only follow rules out of obeisance and not altruism. If they could get away with breaking them then they would. #JesusIzWatching
Make Skyrim great again!
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The #GOP had a momentary lapse of reason when it decided those with mental illnesses should be able to purchase guns! #SuicideSolution
You know, at one time Christianity would have been considered New Age.
Petty revenge may make you feel better but in the long run only stands to hurt you. Childish hissy fits help no one.
I have idiopathic toe walking but I just tell people I work for the Ministry of Silly Walks.
You want you use taxpayers $ to launch a fake invest. into voter fraud? Why not use those taxpayers $ for a psychiatric evaluation. @Potus
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Give the Donald a chance. Just because he's not listening doesn't mean he can't hear you!
Working a part-time job means no matter if you work hard or not you'll always look like an asshole. How am I ever going to impress the DM?
When he asks you to sit on his face
Image from Duchess Gummybuns (@Kathleen_McGee)
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KFC threw a girl out because she had gruesome scars. Worse than the assistant manager and the guy working the deep fry?
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David DeJohn retweeted
Megan Amram (@meganamram) profile picture
Megan Amram
@meganamram14 Apr 2014
So awkward - today's the ONE day i forgot to smear my doorpost with lamb's blood
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No, science is not infallible that is why we need it.
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Just heard..RIP to one of the sweetest funniest guys in comedy. #johnpinette
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David DeJohn retweeted
Joey CoCo Diaz (@madflavor) profile picture
Joey CoCo Diaz
@madflavor2 Apr 2014
Vapor Hits, Alpha Brain and Green tea.....Puerto Rican Meth!!!
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David DeJohn retweeted
John Hodgman (@hodgman) profile picture
John Hodgman
@hodgman2 Apr 2014
Oh! It's almost midnight pacific time and I can't believe I almost forgot to ask you all to watch this Rick Astley video.
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*snaps the waist on my sweatpants* JUST TOOK AN EXTRA ALLEGRA WHO WANTS TO PARTY
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