i suck at flirting i just end up staring at u like this

grab my collar and pull me close enough to kiss u

i seem shy and innocent but i’m secretly fantasizing about all the different ways my owner can use me

*rubs ur bulge with my paws* oops didn’t see u there *rubs ur bulge with my paws* sorry didn’t mean to do it again *rubs ur bulge with my paws* i’m so sorry idk how it keeps happening *rubs ur bulge with my paws* pls i’m actually so sor-

how it feels when u give me all of ur attention

really am a puppy because i’m clingy and get overly excited when praised

“does puppy want my bone?” puppy is drooling already

when they ask for better communication so i start whining and barking more

“are u sleepy” “no…” minutes later:

*frantically puts hands behind back to hold down wagging tail* what…no…i’m not excited to see u wtf why would u think that…