goddamn. what in the fuck

why do iPhones save your timers, and why do I have a five minute timer labeled Blue Man Group

licking everything I buy at the gas station in hopes that it kills me

y’all ever take your overalls off, and find a french fry on your midriff or just me

I’ve been re-watching Doctor Who, and decade old YouTube videos. Is this depression or a midlife crisis?

The downfall of America started when we allowed people to be left-handed

the letter Q should be after W in the alphabet

these last 4 songs that @ElephantJakeNY released might be my favorite songs of the year

who up? DM me your armpit

this is my favorite photo that I have on my phone

“money doesn’t buy happiness” people have never been as broke and in debt as I am

i’m getting ads specifically for Dad’s in their 30s, and I’m sorry to tell the ad companies that I do not have any children.

would yourself from 2020 be happy with who you are today?

i missed the validation from @xwombox when i was offline

i’m both scared to tell someone I love them, while missing telling someone I love them

after the second time I tried to kill myself this year, I rewatched all of Taskmaster. the next time I do that will hopefully be with someone I’m in love with

I’m gonna name my first born child Hash Brown Casserole bc i love it so much

i’ll do literally whatever you want if you hit me with your car, letting me get disability

what the fuck happened to September