elma fudzinski

Well I once told my new roommate and her boyfriend I’d never met that I thought it was “adorable” that my cat threw up in his litter box bc it was like “a person puking in a toilet” so ya I’m pretty good at first impressions

Hey @realDonaldTrump you suck

Hey @realDonaldTrump fuck you

Fave tweet of all time

Hey @elonmusk why are you such a dick

Hey @elonmusk you suck

Hey @elonmusk you ruined twitter

Hey @elonmusk fuck you

Not @Uber secretly overcharging my poor mother $50 for her first trip… no wonder I use @lyft

Bathrobes shouldn’t be $200

I miss twitter

Never forget my boyfriend legitimately thought I clogged the kitchen sink with bracelet beads

Wtf is wrong with the @Chewy app

“Wow these pickles ARE really good” -everyone after I tell them mini claussens are simply THE BEST