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Parenthood is so weird. My daughter will get straight A’s on all her physics test, then turn around and ask me if turkey is pork.

My friend hates confrontation so much that she’ll accept the wrong food order, apologise when someone steps on her foot and thank people for inconveniencing her. But she’ll spend the next four hours explaining to me exactly how she should have responded. Apparently, she’s only confrontational in the director’s cut.

Me: “We’re going to have a conversation tonight about the importance of consent.” My 5yr old: “I don’t want to!” ………..well shit.

The older I get, the more I realise why people choose to build lives around gardens, books, cooking, and long walks. It’s not nostalgia it’s finally understanding that peace quietly beats everything else.

I’ll never get why ‘Asians eating with hands is disgusting’ gets posted so much by the SAME crowd that wears shoes on the bed, showers once in 3 days, and wipes their a** with paper.

Had the sex talk with my daughter. was locked and loaded for everything. Consent. Protection. “It’s okay to say no,” the whole speech. I prepared for all questions till she said “So like….where in the house have you and Mom had sex?”