mrs saxobeat

Me trying to give my mom everything she deserves for mother's day vs. whatever i get my dad for father's day

Can’t let my coworkers know I’m sitting in the parking lot listening to Low (feat. T pain) before my shift in the morning

Just found out this something I’ve always thought was a photograph is actually a painting

There is an animal Living in my garbage

I showed this to my coworker and he said he was gonna airdrop this to the squirrel living in his vents ....

I want some sloppy hotel eggs rn

I feel bad for the guy who’s sitting beside me at lunch that has to watch me slurp down cold soup from a hot peppers jar

Guy at the oil change place found a black widow spider and one of the shop guys sprays it with something and screams “did that to make it weak and blind!” Then some other guy comes and smacks it between two phone books WHAT!?

PPC party stands for Pee Pee Caca party

I’m not paying 10$ to eat a dick !?

Chasing my vodka shot with pepto bismol

Stanky mouth..