Mike Friedman

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.@Microsoft, fix your shit.

Dear All Television Shows, You know we can tell that those coffee cups are empty, right? -Everyone

Dear London, Thanks for building a world-class public transit system that actually works. Please teach the bozos in NY how to do it. Cheers

Somehow I had forgotten that David Spade was in a Police Academy movie.

There are seven billion people alive on Earth today. And every day, one of them takes the largest crap.

I like how /r/crappyDesign is all in Comic Sans.

TFW you follow someone new and interesting, then immediately realize you'll have to mute the fuck out of their retweets.

I'm gonna be honest. If you're trying to recruit me, about 85% of my decision comes down to whether or not your company has a stupid name.

It's so odd and surreal to actually step onto a @NYCTSubway R-160 with functioning AC. I feel very privileged.

Uber, but for taking out the garbage.

Maude is the real Big Lebowski.

.@PANYNJ is there a single aspect of NYC transit infrastructure that isn't a complete shit show these days? Seriously, I would like to know.

↓↓ Don't be this guy. teapawt.net/withzombies/status/888…

#iOS10 voicemail transcription feature is terrible and intrusive. Is there a way to turn it off?

This is important.