cinemaholic spider

finally started my movie substack 🍿🥹 first piece just so happens to be about the lead actor of a movie premiering today! 👀

Just In: FG set to pass a law that would prevent the next government from reversing the economic reforms policies introduced by the Tinubu administration, Incl. taxation, tarrifs, subsidies etc., making them binding and mandatory.

PART TWO. To make matters worse, I checked the weather forecast before I left Nigeria and it said it was going to be warm and sunny, so I packed warm. Big mistake. As we comot for airport, the cold first gimme uppercut. I quickly opened my luggage and put on 2 singlets, 3 T-shirts, 1 office shirt and a cardigan ontop. Didn’t stop shit. Anyway, fast forward to day 1 at GITEX. We got there and I found out that the company actually paid for a booth. A lot of money in dollars. I was like hmm, make I Dey watch this film, e suppose sweet. I come ask say abeg o, wetin we Dey really exhibit for this exhibition. I was then told that I should market the company’s newest and biggest product yet; a satellite (not bigger than that MTN 5G carton) that can provide data all the way from space. A SATELLITE???🤣🤣🤣 “Designed to rival Starlink but more affordable. 300 thousand units will be sent into space. We will partner with Space X and NASA for the launches” Wey data center and radio station wey Dey for ground never work??? 🤣🤣 Remember the robotics guy? He travelled down with a 3D printer. I quickly swung into action. Use your mouth to sell a product they can’t see cos it doesn’t f*king exist and give them a show while at it. So, what did I do? I set up the 3D printer to start printing a model of the largest and most popular mosque in Marrakech. That stunt pulled a looooot of people towards the booth and I kept selling this damn satellite 😭 No question wey those Arabs, Whites and other Africans no ask me. How would they be sent up? Rocket. Their brain just Dey burst. I must have spoken to at least 200 people per day over the course of the exhibition. I went and introduced myself to some of the Nigerian founders I met over there and they kept looking at me funny. I no know say that company tag be like shit for my neck. Dem don shit for church like mad and I come Dey Morocco Dey represent them. Even the 3 interviews wey I do, I had to beg the media guys to not put me on their tv stations 🤣 Met big politicians and exchanged contacts with big personalities from across the world who all wanted to be part of the satellite project. We kept waiting for money o. Luckily, I was with my Providus card and so, when they eventually sent the money to my account, I first comot my salary for that month 🤣🤣🤣🤣 We got back home. The CEO (not founder) who was also promised heaven and earth used almost 14m of his personal money to buy computers for the “AI agents” My guy, the CD had brought in a really good tech babe and they gave her a new MacBook Pro (with big screen). Na she first run after dem no pay am for that month. The AI agents started rebelling on the group they created themselves and added me to guide them. One by one, they left the group. One of the tech bros was fired because he refused to come to work after not being paid for 2 months. He say e no get transport fare 🤣 CEO come resign carry him laptop, na so police enter the matter say him embezzle 30 million naira. Him come start Dey threaten the tech babe say make she return the laptop because he bought it with his own personal money. Just when I was about to resign, dem say dem wan send us go Abu Dhabi for global tech conference. Mo ya sa lo.

Akpabio on Suicide Bill: If you attempt to commit suicide, you better succeed, or we will send you to jail - Godswill Akpabio, Senate President