God Almighty

Come to think of it, @twitter, I'm not sure when that is - which explains the distinct lack of birthday cake :(

Great, Britain. Effective immediately, access beyond the Pearly Gates will now require a visa. Expect delays. #EURefResults

Is #blizzard2016 a reference to the weather or the @TheAcademy Oscars? Be careful, it's disproportionately white out there, America. Gx

Oh look, another Immaculate Conception #CongratulationsLouis

@deztrogen NP ;) Gx

@deztrogen I don't *think I deserve to listening to you whining, either. Life sucks, but death sucks WAY more. Enjoy it while you can. Gx

Hey! I happen to be very good friends with Spidey! Gx teapawt.net/Fyrecide/status/600530…

#HappyInternationalWomensDay I've been ribbing Eve about this all day. Ribbing - get it? Anyone? No? Oh, forget it!

@Lefredpcfc If you're asking me to put a hit on someone, you're praying to the wrong guy. Try the dude downstairs. Gx

@psychopudge "But I say unto you, Love thine anime..." Matthew 5:44 Gx

@psychopudgeI All good things to those who wait - I say that, but I wouldn't book any long breaks if I were you. Gx

@psychopudge The number doesn't matter, it's how you split them when you get here. Gx

Hmmm, I've just seen @andy_murray's phone bill - that explains a lot. #StrictlyComeDancing

OH MY ME! It would appear I am the target of twitter spammers. I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next - mostly the next...

“@TonyNoland: @jackkholt I'm pretty sure that @GodAlmighty reads my tweets.” Actually my PA does, but they do get passed on to Me.

@christopherhitchens - My office please Christopher, I'd like a word about this #GodIsNotGreat nonsense you started.

I am considering shaving off the beard - as I can't go anywhere without people recognising me.

Sent @Allah a request to view his updates (I know I am omniscient, but it's good manners to ask first...)

Feigning my own existence...