You genuinely have to accept that you did the best you could at the time. "If only I didn't screw up" honestly you would've been screwed anyway "I should've sold it, sent it, did it" yeah but there was a reason you didn't. You were a huge idiot but dude you were supposed to be. You've never been in that situation before. You can't expect yourself to operate at a "level 7-10" wisdom with "level 1-3" experience That's exactly how this life thing works. You fuck up, recover, fuck up a little less than before, then recover a little more than before, and you perpetually repeat that cycle until the lessons learned finally match the outcomes achieved Have to put the what if's to rest. Have to give yourself grace. Have to tell yourself that you can't regret something when everything is always meant to happen for your own benefit. Toughest part of being human but promise it will make sense one day. Never throw in the towel before that day comes