hear to make frends and have a day
Goat city
Joined March 2014
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Pinned Tweet
I maintain that I am the most prolific ladies man to ever trap his head in the sunroof of a car
magush retweeted
This has put some things into perspective and I’ve had a fun idea.I’m going to do this every two weeks, I have a nice pick for Southwell tomorrow if it wins I’m going to donate ALL of the profit to @vitiligosociety in honour of the best lady tipster around, @LeonnaMayor
My boss has text me saying we need to urgently discuss the definition of ‘petty cash’ first thing tomorrow
At the beginning of my annual salary review meeting I told my boss that distraction tactics will not work on me. After an hour of negotiations the staff toilet will now be painted my favourite shade of orange.
The queue at the @PostOffice is a great time to fit a 30 minute workout in if you’re a busy go getter like I am #fitness
My neighbour Bill is trying to sue me for spray painting football lines on his lawn even though I said he could play with me. What is wrong with people today?
A fungal foot infection is no laughing matter no matter how much I try to explain the funny side of it to my mother
There is nothing funny about a grown man needing braces. I tried to explain this to the schoolchildren on the bus for 35 minutes
If a man with a moustache gives you the faintest of nods then immediately assume you’re being watched by an undercover detective
a true @WWEUniverse champion knows that 3 @McDonalds double cheeeburgers is a healthy balanced meal but 4 would be excessive.
I just threatened an aggressive fellow bus traveller with a tombstone pile driver and he said he was flattered but straight, what did he mean @VinceMcMahon ?
every time someone says wrestling is fake Santa Claus skips a chimney at Christmas. Think about that @piersmorgan
trying to decide on my ring entrance song for when @MondayNightRaw finally decide on my debut date