Jenn🍄

I wish your mom swallowed you instead

Sometimes you just need a giant bath, wine, and motivational quotes to get back outta your head. Correct me if I'm wrong but I believe it was Ghandi who said "I don't fuck with you. You lil stupid ass bitch, I ain't fuckin with you" and I felt that.

I wonder what people must feel like when they're celebrated instead of tolerated. Like that shit must feel amazing on the daily.

Is the serving in one packet of oatmeal in the boxes of Quaker Oats just WAY too small or am I just fat? Like how is that considered a bowl of oatmeal? Are my bowls too big?! @Quaker please let me know what I'm doing wrong!

Coffee and Adderall is the only way I know how to live

Just a girl and her big black cock

The workday is absolutely abysmal but I'm wearing my dinosaurs so, honestly, who's really winning here?

There are worse things than being broken. Sometimes you realize you're being rewritten. Edited into a version of yourself that you no longer recognize. Marked up in red and revised so often that you stop trusting the original draft.

Taking my kids to see Evil Dead 2 at the Alamo Drafthouse! I can't wait to see it on the big screen!

Good morning folks. May everyone have the Fridayest Tuesday imaginable!

When life has trained you to be a people pleaser, often to the detriment of yourself and your nervous system, you spend a lot of time thinking shit like this and getting sad because you know you can't do it.

The road is long and paved with what in the actual fuck am I even doing because I am NOT feeling good about anything right now. Anyway, here's my sleepy pug baby.

I would pay a suspicious amount of money for someone to come turn my brain off without it becoming a true crime podcast

And then there's me with insomnia 😒

Breaking news: medical science has been lying to us. The actual cure for all mental illness is to abandon society, build a chicks‑only commune and never talk to men again. RIP therapy, hello Vagisland. @sAlrcodependent and I are holding spots now.

Nothing like a lil bedtime anxiety to make you feel alive and hate it! Gnite guys! We're gonna have a better day tomorrow.

I have a lot of dms so quick PSA for the new folks. I am ONLY online to be snarky, discuss mental health, and serve a little cvnt when I feel pretty. I will NOT share super personal info. No I will not respond to your "hey" dm. And I'm absolutely NOT here to date you.

Not ok but fucking cute about it!