Rachel Lander

What is set theory, you ask?

Nothing stresses out a mom like telling her what time you plan to get to the airport

So much effort goes into wine lists for me to look at it for 2 seconds and pick the cheapest one

Where do I get my news? Well from other people reading the newspaper on the train of course….

The nyc urge to hate everything about LA

I like using a pencil bc it reminds me of math and my own body

You ever look back on a relationship and think damn I shudda been paid for all that babysitting

What’s it called when you’re hungover from socializing too much?

When ppl ask me about bad dates nothing immediately comes to mind which means I am probably a lot of peoples bad date

“One grandma, one white, and one margarita” - something I heard at a pizza place that could apply to anything

I have never felt more attacked than when I read an estimated amount of time for a coding project

Being a comedian means hating almost everyone while simultaneously needing everyone to like you

Me: ive been doing a lot of tik tok lately My mom: what does that mean Me: i-

The darkest subculture NYC has to offer is that of the open mic

Kids these days will never understand the sheer influence that this woman had on youth culture

I love reading reviews on blind like “are any of these people women?!”