Heather Longstaffe

There are worse things I could be addicted to than dogs. Like, cats.

Adam Sandlers' Adam Sandler is @RobSchneider

A&R is missing the T

Sometimes "I don't know" is the most intelligent response in the room

When you get high on edibles and geek out to 90s Mariah Carey

You improve the world by improving yourself

Retweet if Cindy is the reason you watch #OrangeIsTheNewBlack

I'm not sure why they called it #TheProposal , it should have been called #ReasonsToHateAmerica

This twitter account has just become my personal television commentary section of the internet

If the The Bachelorette is the Super Bowl, then @BachParadise is the Beyoncé half time show. you all know what you really came to see.

The best actor in the world is @chrisbharrison for acting like he still gives a fuck #TheBachelor

How come all Davids look the same but Daves are like an entirely different species

Alright ladies, you are SEXY. Now what else you got?

#theproposal just killed all my brain cells.

I just heard thunder without rain. Someone please let Fleetwood Mac down gently.

Butt dialing would be worse on FaceTime

Like 4 days of summer weather and I already miss my leather jackets

Do you like this poll?

I've just never understood why you'd wanna be Britney Spears when you could be Avril Lavigne

There is a power greater than sexuality. I anxiously await the day that girls everywhere recognize this power.