the real deal yo

Every time you masturbate you kill 2 million children. I'm just gonna call every male I meet hitler from now on

Selling your body shouldn't be illegal, I mean sure having the extra fingers would be useful but whatever

#tag4likes #follow4follow #daddyissues #blatantalcoholism

Death Race: a microscopic gameshow where sperm race towards the egg to create a new baby. 2 million die, 1 survive.

@WesShelton14 Why hello

~nobody cares~

LOS MEXICOS! DORITOS!

I've never had a Favstar trophy... Can someone explain all this malarkey? (most British word I've ever used)

Real life is boring, how many tweets do I need to morph into the twitter bird and fly around all day pooping on people?

@thatsghoul u wer srs

I'm listening to reggae which can only mean one thing: I must make a nice casserole for my mother

My Internet is going through what only science can call "a volcanic bowel movement".

@Abusitron You've made my interactions go crazy... I... I kinda like it..!

Twitter friends! My timeline is as plain as the donuts that I've been offered. Recommend me some people to follow!

I think we should all revolt against twitter and never reply to anyone ever again, that'll show them! Haha!

Really not enjoying these linked tweets. Why must twitter mess with what is already annoyingly addictive?

My interactions are crazier than the voices in my head...

@baconmosh You look like a little leprechaun bitch

@Abusitron My my, you've found my oldest tweets. How odd

#RIPOneDirection RIP = really irritating pricks. Don't be fooled by their lies, I'm here with the truth!