Ian Jayne

I'm an atheist, and I talked to my wife about it last night. I was already an atheist when I met her, so naturally I ended up with someone who was also an atheist. But over the past couple of months, I've been having dreams where someone is talking to me, along with these weird signs. I chose to ignore them because I didn't believe in any of that. Our life is fine. Actually, it's better than a lot of my peers'. We got a new house this year, our child is healthy, and my relationship with my wife is stronger than ever. Seven years strong. So why would I believe in God? We're not struggling financially or emotionally, and we're all healthy. There's no need for us to believe in a supernatural being. But these past few months, out of nowhere, I've felt this calling that Jesus is real. It gives me goosebumps, but not from fear. More like a sense of awe or shame. Like He loves me so much, even though I'm so small and unimportant. And then, for some reason, all my beliefs that God isn't real just disappeared. Suddenly, I wanted to come back. I don't fully understand why I feel this way, but I do. I want to return. I hid it from my wife because I knew she'd laugh at me. That's how I used to be too. But I've been seeing so many signs telling me to trust in Him and tell her, that God is trying to save her through me. I still couldn't do it because of our old beliefs. But last night, I finally did. I told her I'm starting to believe in Jesus Christ. (This is going to be a long post, so I'll just shortcut what we talked about.) She didn't laugh. I didn't expect her reaction at all. For context, the conversation about God started around 2 a.m., though I tried to bring it up around 1 a.m. There were a lot of detours because I didn't know how to say it. But she said she'd keep an open mind about God, since she never expected me to become a believer out of nowhere. This Sunday, we're going to church for the first time as a family. I'm very excited.

10+ years of believing that there is no God but today, I'm walking into a church for the first time, with my family. Service is in a few hours but I couldn't help myself to wake up early and choose nice clothes to wear. Probably not a very important thing to God but I want to look presentable in front of Him.

Thank you that I failed to end it all. There's nothing I can do to express how much I'm grateful to everything that was given to me. Please keep my family safe 🙏

There are so many people suffering. And a lot of them are good people and innocent children. There's no way that there is a God. And if I am wrong and there is a God, He's doing a terrible job. For a very long time, this is what I think. Not mentioning how there's too many self righteous religious people I know. People just keep pushing me away from God. I don't know which one comes first. My belief that there is a terrible God, or my belief that there is no God. That we are just a speck of dust in the Universe with no purpose. Just a happy accident. It's a sad and shameful belief. I don't know what changed my belief and led me to come back to Him. To disregard the sinful people around Him and cherish Him because I myself am also sinful. To follow His voice and filter the noise. I honestly do not know how to start, so hopefully, prayers, reading the Bible, and going to church are a good start. I want to document my spiritual journey here in X. I might post something shameful, or offensive, or completely wrong interpretation of the Bible, but I think it's a good start. I don't know why, but I think it's a good start.

I’m a legal immigrant, a veteran, a father, and a husband. I’ve done a lot of immoral things in my life. I lie, I judged, I fornicate, but I was called. I didn’t expect my last post to go viral so before more people start questioning how real this profile is, let me clear it up. I used to be one of those crypto bros chasing pumps and jumping into the NFT craze. Bought into a bunch of projects and kept switching my username and profile picture to whatever NFT character was popular at the time just to join in. Everything I posted was about crypto. I’ve always used this account trying to find some kind of community on X. It’s gone through so many changes and nothing ever really hit what I was looking for. I found a little community here, but I didn’t want X to only be about this crypto community. I want to be more honest with what I’m actually thinking, even though I’m still figuring out my voice. Kept changing the name until I finally put up my real picture and my real name. I shared my encounter with God just to tell my story. Didn’t expect all the love that came back. Please don’t call me a Christian. I have no idea what I’m doing. Tomorrow’s my first time walking into a church. I don’t know the traditions or how any of this works. I only started praying a few weeks ago and still don’t know if I’m doing it right. All I know is I’m trying to talk to God as respectfully and humbly as I can. I’m going to use this account to share the journey. Keep calling out the mistakes from my past, the mess of this account, and whatever mistakes I make next. I’ll pray for you.

Happy Veterans Day to everyone who served, and may Jesus give extra patience to every veteran currently listening to a guy explain how he 'almost enlisted, but would’ve punched a drill instructor for yelling in his face

I’ve been an atheist for 10 years. Lost my faith and got addicted to porn, sexual sin, and drugs. For the past few months Jesus has been visiting me in my dreams and I’ve been seeing His signs everywhere. I started reading the Bible again and finally decided to quit porn for good. Every November for the last 6 years I’ve tried semen retention and always failed in the first week. Today is day 6 with no porn. It’s hard, but I’m praying this is the year I finally overcome it. Please help me, God.

Unracking 135 lbs after months away feels like a slap in the face. Your mind remembers when that was just a warm up set. Your pride tells you that stepping back to one plate per side is a failure. It is not. When I left the Navy, I thought my foundation was permanently set. Then mental health struggles and financial setbacks knocked me down to absolute zero. Trying to rebuild my life from scratch while struggling in real estate felt like starting over with an empty bar. Ego makes you want to load three plates and blow out your knees just to prove something to strangers in the gym. Discipline forces you to strip the weight, swallow your pride, and put in the quiet reps required to build back up. Your household does not care what you squat. They care that you are physically and mentally capable of protecting and providing for them. Forget where you used to be. The only thing that matters is that you walked back through the front door and got under the iron today. Drop the ego. Respect the process. Brick by brick.

Strict perimeter focus: My primary energy belongs to my wife and child. Financial self reliance: True freedom comes from lowering overhead, not chasing fake status. Extreme ownership: No rescue team is coming for my family. Stop wasting strength fighting battles that do not secure your home. Fortify your perimeter and protect your own.

I left the Navy in 2019 and earned my economics degree four years later. Since then, the corporate world has been a total disaster because my service disabilities prevent me from working standard full-time jobs. So I want to start my own business instead. To be completely honest, I have no clear path right now and I do not even know how to start. I will be spending my time researching and learning everything from scratch. This page is my raw diary and I will never delete a single post. Help a veteran out and drop some solid business advice below. If you do not have advice, just follow along and watch a brother refuse to give up.

With Memorial Day tomorrow, my depression is at its peak. I am not looking for sympathy. I am just grateful I can channel this weight by writing and replying to posts here on X. Tomorrow belongs entirely to the fallen. But do not forget to check on your living veterans today.

Years ago, I was alone and decided to end it all. But I survived. I know many share that story, and it breaks my heart that so many aren't here today. If you're reading this, you're exactly who I want to connect with. Let's stop looking back and build a community.