My mom eating at a Mexican restaurant for the first time : I’ll take a Coke and make sure to bring it when my food is ready.
Me:
If we’re in a relationship and you’re not a professional spider killer, why are you even here? 💁🏾♀️Cos you know damn sure it ain’t gone be me🥲😂
You know you’re single af when your elderly patient says they’ll be on the lookout for a potential match for you 🥴🥴
That awkward moment when you’ve been dreaming of Chick Fil A all day at work, only to clock out and remember it’s Sunday and they’re closed🥲






























