pietro: got called gay in the x-mansion the other day
lorna: what happened?
pietro: got called gay in the x-mansion
lorna: yes, but why?
pietro: i was being gay
lorna: in the x-mansion?
pietro: yeah it was in the x-mansion
wanda: you remind me of the ocean
Pietro: because I’m deep and mysterious?
Wanda: no, because you’re full of salt and you scare people
pietro: my name is Pietro
gambit: i know
pietro: but you can call me
gambit: Pietro, wha-
pietro: *aggressively puts on sun glasses*
pietro: anytime
Lorna, watching from the bushes: *facepalm*
pietro: i wasn’t hurt that badly! the doctor said all my bleeding was internal. that’s where the blood is supposed to be!
kate bishop: why are you always following around billy?
tommy: excuse me sir, he's my emotional support soul twin
pietro: of course wanda can take care of herself
Wanda: *sneezes*
Pietro, from the other side of the world: Oh god, ARE YOU OKAY? I'll be there within a second
erik: I think I'm dying inside
pietro: then suffer in silence
tommy: You spend most of your day telling a robot that you’re not a robot. Think about that for two minutes and tell me you don’t want to walk into the ocean.
Wanda: You ever have those days where you’re like, “This might as well happen. Adult life is already so God damn weird.”
Tommy: And now for a gay update with Billy. How are you, Billy?
Billy: Getting gayer.
Tommy: Thank you, Billy.
Billy, holding a glass bottle: Hey, is this whiskey or perfume?
Tommy, grabbing the bottle and chugging it: It's perfume
*at Passover Seder*
tommy: *accidentally drinks wine instead of grapejuice*
tommy: why is this grapejuice spicy
erik: *facepalm*
pietro: *walking in with a big box* hey sis, what would you say if i came home with four cats?
wanda: what's in the box?
pietro:
pietro: please say yes
billy: *sweetly* what is the one thing i told you not to do?
tommy: burn the house down.
billy: and what did you do?
tommy: made all of us dinner :)
billy:
tommy:
tommy: and burned the house down

