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2 pots to handle, 2 doors to hold, they’re called the GhostButlers and they’re in control.
I love when i talk to the indian customer service rep and she calls me Sir Ryan, so now i am a proud and honorable knight
cousin greg was on my flight. not the real cousin greg but he was definitely white, wearing a suit on a plane, and arguing with his dad on the phone about why is his dad so upset at him? after all, he did make $8000 today & saying hey dad you're really stressing me out right now
can i make a report in the citizens app about these fucking birds that won't shut the fuck up at 2am with their stupid repetitive mockingbird calls cuz this shit is disturbing the peace
Just had a black widow crawling on my neck and arm and now i wont be going outside for a year or two
little known fact: cheap and easy way to get fucked up on Oxys is just snort Oxyclean. same chemical compund.
When i was a kid i thought Playbill was another version of Playboy but never understood why my gramma always had them in her bathroom and there’s wasnt no naked chicks in em

