artist• custom comms closed indefinitely • questions bout your comm? email [email protected] •
Joined July 2013
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I am doing my best to be as open and honest as I possibly can. I haven’t even slept because these thoughts have been weighing on me for too long.
I take full responsibility for promising work and not delivering it. I want to be better. It is hard to get better with so much weight
I’ve been wanting to make that massive post I talked about a while ago, but the anxiety I feel is overwhelming and it’s been preventing me from doing so, along with opening this app. I’m terrified.
All I can express at the moment is the immense guilt I have felt over this for the past couple of years. I never had a single bad intention with any commission I have taken.
Right now more than ever, I need to be taking care of myself to make sure that I make it to 27.
There has been so god damn much going on in my personal life. I understand that I owe it to people to finish my queue. I understand how many people I’ve made angry. Telling me these things over & over aren’t going to help me get better.
I’m not purposely trying to ignore anybody. Every.Single.Day. my mind tells me I’m a failure and that the only way out is to give up.
I am and have been suicidal for the last 10+ years of my life.
Living like this is extremely difficult as it is.
I cannot express to the people who have commissioned me how terribly awful I feel. I say this a lot, but I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.
I am struggling severely with my mental health. I have been hospitalized twice in the last year as a result of suicidal ideation
FOR NOW:
• I am actively looking into reinstating my health insurance so that I can get looked at; I am 99% certain I have another kidney stone(s) and I am in extreme physical pain daily.
• I will be doing my best to respond to DMs on my off days (Mon / Thurs)
What I would like for you to take away from my large post, when I post it, is not that it is another “crying wolf” situation. I’m done running from my problems. I am taking accountability and doing my best to move forward. More to be explained soon.
I have been wanting to type out a huge, huge post for my clients, friends, whoever may have worked with me in the past, etc. But the constant stress is real. I have never pushed my body to these limits before and it is so, extremely, incredibly fucking difficult.
-and properly put my feelings together in fear that people will not care about what I have to say. I am scared that I made things so bad for myself that the fandom will only see me as an untrustworthy artist, a scammer, etc. I’m just a guy who fucked up. Badly.
I deleted my previous post out of anxiety that someone I don’t need seeing that post would possibly see it.
I am not okay. I haven’t really been for a minute. battling with what seems to be another kidney stone. I am not ignoring anybody. I am dealing with EXTREME physical pain
inksty retweeted
Uh oh!!! Puppy’s been caught playing in the leaf pile at the pumpkin patch!!
🍂 🐶 🍁
Multi slot YCH!! 💰4️⃣0️⃣ - to be worked on between other commissions I have! Comment or DM to claim and as always RT’s appreciated 🥺
