Creator of Eat Number. Like Sleep Number but for food texture (he/him)
Chicago, IL
Joined May 2010
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Netflix has now acquired a TV show starring the President of Ukraine from 2015. I didn't expect the streaming industry to get into war profiteering until at least 2024.
Is today the one with the Turkey? Because if not, I killed a lot of Turkeys in my apartment for no reason (admittedly a couple pheasants slipped in there)
STEM majors should take classes in the arts and arts majors should take classes in difference between "reply" and "reply all"
Jack: Doctor! I've been feeling so sad and depressed. What can you do about it?
Doctor: Have you seen the somewhat okay clown Jack Allen? He has a couple good bits on a good night idk.
Jack: Can I have some actual drugs please?
I don't watch or read news. I just read 10 of my friends' half-assed topical jokes and piece it together from context clues
I keep getting emails from the Surgeon General that it's been 15 months and when I have questions I should stop saying "May I mask you a question?" and I shouldn't have started doing that in the first place and a lot of innocent people are dead because of it
The CDC just announced that you must pet your cat all the time and not leave your house and it's not because of covid it's because you wouldn't be petting your cat then
If you haven't already, check out the humorous sketches I've been making!
youtu.be/wLuw8W9EFYo