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YOU WANT TO REBUILD. THEY’RE STILL DECIDING. One person is saying, “Let us save this marriage.” The other is saying, “I don’t know if I want to continue.” That uncertainty hurts. You want an answer, a plan, something solid to hold on to. So you call more, send long messages and recruit relatives. Before long, the family WhatsApp group has become a reconciliation task force. But pressure can produce agreement without willingness. You may truly want to change and still be frightened of separation. Both can be true. And your partner may still care while doubting whether anything will actually be different. Instead of asking, “Are you staying or leaving?” try: “What is making reconciliation difficult for you to consider?” Listen without turning every answer into a defence. If you caused harm, acknowledge it specifically. Respect requests for space. Follow through on change without treating it as payment for forgiveness. You can agree on when to revisit the conversation. Giving someone room to decide does not mean putting your life on hold indefinitely. Counselling can help both of you understand what you want and what rebuilding would require. It should not become a campaign to persuade the hesitant partner. And where there is abuse or intimidation, safety comes first. One person can begin changing their behaviour. Rebuilding a marriage requires both people to choose it. Are you asking for another chance, or making room for an honest answer? Jane of Janesdiary Visit our website for more Janesdiary dot com