Jason Arant

We received about 20 inches of snow this week. So………. 8:00 am: I made a snowman. 8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman. 8:15 - So, I made a snow woman. 8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere. 8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it should have been two snowmen instead. 8:22 - The transgender man / woman / person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts. 8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not to be used to decorate snow figures. 8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow person is white. 8:30 - I used food coloring to make the snow person a different color and be more racially inclusive. 8:37 - Then I was accused of using a black face on the snow person. 8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered. 8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended. 8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role. 8:43 - The 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction. 8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now a sexist. 9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather. 9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services. 9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything, marched down the street demanding that I be arrested. 9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media 10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman... Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.