Jules

As a kid I was scared of clowns. Now I’m scared of clowns in suits running the country.

Hotter than Satans arsecrack.

I have no words

At this point I’m hoping the Pied Piper will tooty tooty them all off a cliff.

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Good god @Debenhams customer service is just the worst. Ordered a rise/recliner chair to help with my osteoarthritis. We were delivered a dressing table. Do you think we can get them to reply to the issue? Can we fuck.

Finally got to see a T&O consultant after years of waiting. He told me to lose weight and try getting a bicycle. I’m a size 8 and can’t even get in the bath with severe osteoarthritis in both hips. Never felt so deflated.

So basically they want you to drop yourself in it at work by letting your boss know there’s a reference request coming only to then find out if you get the job or not? Wtf.

Ummm…

Be great if one of these seagulls dropped 20k in my lap instead of half a rock hard crusty baguette.

How weird is it having THAT dream about someone you haven’t seen in years? All flustered and shit.

Someone tell me why the fuck I have to pay £3.69 for a loaf of bread just because I can’t eat wheat.

Oh fuck off.

Oh dear 🤣🤣

Has anyone ever genuinely won anything from Vodafone rewards? I always get the “better luck next time” bollocks.

That’s me retiring!

Fuck it, I’m breaking open the Quality Street.