Jonathan Patterson

Judge: Ma’am, before we go any further, can somebody explain to me why you’re dressed like that in my courtroom? Woman: Looks confused. Your Honor, I didn’t know I was coming for an actual court hearing today. Judge: EXCUSE ME?! Where exactly did you think you were going? Woman: I thought I was just coming for a visit. I didn’t know I had to dress up. Judge: A VISIT?! Ma’am, this is a court of law, not somebody’s living room! Woman: Places her hand on her chest. I’m not trying to disrespect you, Your Honor. Judge: Well, that’s exactly how it looks to me! You’ve got a bonnet on your head and what looks like a swimsuit! Woman: Shakes her head. It’s not a swimsuit, sir. It’s just what I had on. Judge: That’s the problem! You came into my courtroom dressed like you were getting ready to go to the swimming pool! Woman: But, Your Honor, I didn’t think my clothes would be an issue. Judge: MA’AM! You’re standing in front of a judge! Do you understand how insulting it is when someone doesn’t even make an effort to dress appropriately? Woman: Visibly frustrated. Sir, I’m here. I showed up. I’m trying to do what I’m supposed to do. Judge: And showing up is only part of it! You need to understand that this courtroom deserves respect! Woman: I’m respecting you, sir. I just wasn’t prepared for this today. Judge: Then next time, BE PREPARED! No bonnet, no beachwear, and no excuses about thinking this was a casual visit! Woman: Nods. Okay, Your Honor. I understand. Judge: Good! Because I don’t want to have this conversation with you again! Woman: Yes, sir. Judge: Now, can we finally get back to the actual reason you’re standing in front of me?!