justpeechi 💕

me time hit so good i started coaching myself out loud. right there right there right there

The phrase mudflap is a new thing I learned that I hate.

don't worry, i'm into girth and a man who knows his way around the beam. you never had a chance

The main reason I don’t usually do random hookups is because I would have to spend the first 2 hours with a mf powerpoint presentation on how I specifically cum.

if he sets off my sprinkler system that's not the finale babe, that's the warm up

scuba certified. call me scuba steve. i will waterboard you

If I throw up on it a little that just means i’m fucking comited.

ok yes i threw up on it a little. that's called dedication babe

Do Mormons fuck? Or just former Mormons? Utah prolly freaky af

something about a man picking out my outfit for me… idk maybe it's an ownership thing but i love it

future husband better be cool with us getting a girlfriend. i have plans for her and they involve swapping

First date idea: I send you the link to the remote vibe in my ass at dinner.

being shy is the only thing keeping me from being ran through. kinda jealous of the girls who don't need to respect him first

Go sit on the toilet after anal. I promise that’s not a fart.

y'all asked to hear the rest so i grabbed the closest mic i could find

just heard the term mudflap… is it still called that if it's pink? y'all need to come up with something better

Applying for CNC personal flesh light positions

drove past a place called stroke therapy and said yes please, i'd like to book an appointment. brain is cooked

Don't let your man hold you back from achieving your dream of seeing the Eiffel Tower. If he really loved you, he would take you there. Maybe with one of his hot friends.

unpopular opinion: it's not my job to be kid friendly at the beach. thong bikini, twerking, i was there first