following the path of the eternal

on the world wide web
Joined May 2024
I sat under a tree and I imagined my shame, I imagined it dispersing into thousands of droplets, each droplet falling softly onto a leaf of the tree, the tree absorbs it, all of it, uses it as fuel, turns it into oxygen, something good and useful and kind
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what would you do if the internet got shut down next tuesday?
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I could explain to you how I have moral OCD or I could shut my mouth and look at a tree
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the problem with fines as punishment for bad behavior in business is that fines can be budgeted for, and then disappear as an important business loss 'on the way to a brighter future'
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I was promised this in a church a very long time ago, when does it cash in?
please God may I meet the man who makes the waiting worth it?
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˗ˏˋ ´ˎ˗ retweeted
did I capture their essence?
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why does it feel like absolutely everyone is disappointing me?
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Self Respect means proving to yourself everyday that you mean what you say, you do what you say you'll do, and living out your values with each breath you take
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please God may I meet the man who makes the waiting worth it?
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I can never really tell if it feels good or not to express to someone that they hurt me, it feels bad to express it and it also feels bad to keep it to myself, I used to think it feeling bad meant I was expressing it wrongly, but maybe it just doesn't feel good to do even though it's the most loving thing to do
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but if this is true then the also can also be true that keeping it myself feeling bad doesnt necessarily mean that is an unloving thing to do? I think I've been telling myself I've been unloving my softening other's blows
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every thing is totally fine and actually quite lovely but also nothing is going as I planned it to or even really would ideally like it to be going and there's a lot of wrestling with god when it comes to that discussion but every thing is really lovely really
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Our culture continues to raise very submissive men and it’s no good for anyone, but among those men who adopt the submissive narrative there are conscious submissive men and unconscious submissive men. A man who’s self esteem is so low that he advertises or names himself, whether in public or private, as submissive comes off to the hyper feminist lens as a safe space, as someone who has surrendered to the pendulum swing, someone who is willing to submit to femininity and society at large. Sometimes this comes from a sense of self awareness drawn out from the unconscious submissive nature but instead of observing it and choosing to act differently, viewing it and accepting it, taking it on, and identifying with it whether siloed into sexuality or identifying with a submissive nature more generally. To see the powerlessness thrown upon them and to accept it rather than to live differently and with agency. Sometimes it's an unconscious trap being owned and called awareness. The unconscious submissive man is someone who’s sense of worth and sense of masculinity is carefully curated around him through accolades and external signals that he views himself a True Alpha Man and so he confidently acts as and moves through the world as a Man but due to all the markers for such masculinity being externally sourced, he is, in fact, submissive to all that surrounds and defines him. As opposed to his worth being internally sourced from a well spring of self esteem, which is what it is to be truly dominant over one’s own life. This man is perceived as a Man to most other unconscious people, regardless of gender, because they too are operating from a place of external signals and external senses of self: buying into the framework, blinders on. This lack of awareness makes him no less submissive than the man who claims to be aware of it.
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the unconscious submissive man is more likely to silo such submissiveness hidden behind closed doors sexually because then it is in a box of it's own, it's agentic and sexy, both sexyness covers up a world of sins
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˗ˏˋ ´ˎ˗ retweeted
Our culture continues to raise very submissive men and it’s no good for anyone, but among those men who adopt the submissive narrative there are conscious submissive men and unconscious submissive men. A man who’s self esteem is so low that he advertises or names himself, whether in public or private, as submissive comes off to the hyper feminist lens as a safe space, as someone who has surrendered to the pendulum swing, someone who is willing to submit to femininity and society at large. Sometimes this comes from a sense of self awareness drawn out from the unconscious submissive nature but instead of observing it and choosing to act differently, viewing it and accepting it, taking it on, and identifying with it whether siloed into sexuality or identifying with a submissive nature more generally. To see the powerlessness thrown upon them and to accept it rather than to live differently and with agency. Sometimes it's an unconscious trap being owned and called awareness. The unconscious submissive man is someone who’s sense of worth and sense of masculinity is carefully curated around him through accolades and external signals that he views himself a True Alpha Man and so he confidently acts as and moves through the world as a Man but due to all the markers for such masculinity being externally sourced, he is, in fact, submissive to all that surrounds and defines him. As opposed to his worth being internally sourced from a well spring of self esteem, which is what it is to be truly dominant over one’s own life. This man is perceived as a Man to most other unconscious people, regardless of gender, because they too are operating from a place of external signals and external senses of self: buying into the framework, blinders on. This lack of awareness makes him no less submissive than the man who claims to be aware of it.
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I might be reading into things the way I read into things with my father but the promotional prompts on this site feel especially "I know what you want more than you do!" and it makes me say "NO!"
no I don't want to "try out the article feature on X" I actually purposefully clicked
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no I don't want to "try out the article feature on X" I actually purposefully clicked
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I never let myself get excited about social plans unless I am certain they are happening because I really have to prepare myself for hyper social things and so when I miscalculate and fate steps in and I am disappointed, I am reallllyyyy disappointed but also every time I am realllyyyy disappointed there tends to be a really good reason smh and the cycle continues I suppose
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so what tangibly happens in our day to day lives if suddenly no one has data security?
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I used to need evidence to believe myself but now, if I don't like seeing your stupid little icon in my notifications, if I so much as notice you more than I find reasonable and you are not my real life long term friend, blocked
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I know I am very actively perceived as different than other people but I don't think I'll ever be able to perceive it myself and I don't know why
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being around people who can read you well who you don't wish to be transparent with is so unsettling
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