muse

Things I learned after working for years in the independent adult content creator space: 1. There are very few people that want to genuinely help you with your business, majority of the people that say they do, just want to see how much money they can make FROM you. 2. This space creates a lot of parasocial relationships. It’s not just between fans but creators will think they know you and want to be friendly with you based off tweets alone, don’t trust it. Social media does not paint an actual picture of who people really are. You don’t know these people and a lot of them do not wish you well. 3. Most people in this space either do not want to be or are genuinely incapable of being your friend due to the perception of competition. If you suddenly start doing well in business, expect some or most of your work “friends” to stop clapping for you, to avoid you, and just be straight up shady and weird towards you. 4. Lots of people you encounter will want to use you. They’ll use you for money, they’ll use you for a place to crash when they’re visiting your city, a listening ear, a helping hand. People will date you/befriend you because they want your financial resources but also your social currency and connections. (This goes for civilians and other people in the industry) 5. A lot of people in this space are walking around with mental illness, which is fine, mentally ill people deserve jobs but there are some truly unstable people in this space that are literally delusional and not living in the same realm of reality as everyone else which can make them unpredictable and shady at best and dangerous (or willing to put you in harms way) at worst. Please be careful. 6. Trust in this space, and anywhere else, should be earned through a pattern of WORDS that are aligned with actions. Do not just blindly give it out, not in this space or anywhere else. 7. Be careful with whoever you’re meeting, regardless of gender. While I’ve had some experiences with men in the industry, I’ve also had what I would consider to be MORE negative experiences with women in the industry. I know there’s a huge “trust women” sentiment in the community and I really loved that until I realized some women here will actually do you worse than the men so just be careful. Craziest thing is, all of this can be applied to any industry, any job…because humans are going to be humans regardless of what job you’re doing and you’ve just gotta do what you can to keep yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually healthy.