Matthew OIIIIIIIO

A bear making bacon

Backyard forecast: snowy and mud and #JeepMafia

Are comedians doing more crowd work because they need to reach out from lack of close friends, or daily experiences, or is this just trying to move back into society post pandemic trend? #discuss

Ever tell someone you didn't recognize them because their hair looks great? Then they remind you, 3 weeks ago they told you, they are doing chemo & it's a wig. I leaned into the compliment. Be kind to your acquaintances who care about you, even if you have a trash memory

Watched the movie #Nope again, still terrified of primates. Well done movie. Jordan Peele does mastery work.

Did anyone else learn in school not to define a word by using the word you're defining? I guess that isn't a thing anymore. Just repeat it twice for emphasis and let them do their research.

The water is running below a gentle sheet of ice

Out in the backyard w kiddo finding owl pellets. Apparently, kiddo thought the owl pellets smelled like grandpa's tobacco. Then said maybe it's the fungus on it.

Sometimes you want to feel like Margot Tenenebaum smoking a cigarette in the bath tub

If you could be any celebrity who would you want to be? Me, Winnie-the-Pooh

Fun fact: pringles are great for people with bad or no teeth who still want chips. You can smash them with your tongue. They are so thin, and, if you're tired of only soup & baby food.

Dips are a wonderful food invention. I could make and eat dips all day. Love it. (Not the tobacco) Spitting is impolite but still necessary for humans at times

I've grown to have a small appetite but many meals. I could live on appetizers throughout the day. Unless I want to nap, then I'll go big, which is still not that big. Don't know how other bodies do it.

Is heaven for men wandering about like the men of Last of the Summer Wine? Boyish goofshit

Do women who get pedicures worry their DNA is being collected by Nail Shops? Too many crime shows? Hang in there

My buddy got a Messi jersey tattoo I saw for the first time tonight. (He's Argentine) I messed with him asking what's that for? Got a dead eye stare before laughter. Sometimes being aloof can get laughter.

If you add pumpkin + a body part as an insult, it's terribly mean. I don't want to be mean mostly, but it could be devastating. Pumpkins are weird shapes, as are humans.

Humans love to collect things, especially kids. I think rocks and sticks are better than plastics.

Watching Michael Jordan's Playground again. Used to watch it on vhs. It starts with samurai intro and then piano instrumental of glory.

Who was your favorite bald guy growing up? Mine was Michael Jordan