To self-describe is to rob people of their assumptions. Although I do make songs.

Nashville, TN
Joined March 2009
This is how @SouthwestAir auto responds to fully admitting to theft.
It seems like a lot of Christians are willing to risk the whole camel/needle scenario of it means fucking over actual poor people.
I'd like to thank @SouthwestAir for stealing $197 from me this Christmas season. I know I'm neither the first nor the last, but there's not enough coal in the world for those stockings. #southwest #Travel #worstgiftever
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Why don't we eat cake with spoons? Surely your cake isn't so hard it requires the edge of a fork, and I've never seen crumbs fall through a spoon.
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Abby: Singing lead and playing drums is basically impossible. Me: Don Henley can do it. Abby: Don Henley can't do anything.
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Hey @AskPlayStation. Why does my chat suddenly end everytime I'm about to actually be issued a refund?
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Watching a game show from 1991 and the contestant's job was listed as "computer operator".
And AJ, while you're at it, see if @Lightning100 can throw some Don't Do It on?
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Feel free to RT this if you have also been fucked by @SouthwestAir #theworst
Reposted from @TheJohnnyHayes - What initially drew me to be a musician was seeing future friends sing and play together out of sheer joy of sharing moments on stage with each other. I… instagram.com/p/BvXODGRBeM0/… – at Mobile, AL
Coming in #hot this #weekend to my #Ohio people! thelazybeeberea on #friday and theramblinghouse on #saturday for all the finest times. #solo . . . #listen #new #music #indie #singer… instagram.com/p/BuZ62LuB7Xe/…
Well, semi-drunkenly recorded a new episode of the @DSMPodcast last night. If you missed the last one, go ahead and #treatyoself below! open.spotify.com/episode/0Bu…
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Everybody knows about the purple nurple, but I think it's time for us to put our weight as a society behind re-popularizing the orange norange. #color #rhymes #nipples #ouch
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Yesterday I found myself thinking how nice it would be to have a weather-proof hoodie. Then I realized that's just a coat.