Matt Quartermaine (@mattquarters) header
Matt Quartermaine (@mattquarters) profile picture

Matt Quartermaine

@mattquarters

Comedian, writer, actor and half of the legendary Empty Pockets.

 Northcote, Melbourne
Joined May 2017
  • Tweets3.6K
  • Following360
  • Followers319
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Photo by Matt Quartermaine (@mattquarters)Photo by Matt Quartermaine (@mattquarters)Photo by Matt Quartermaine (@mattquarters)Photo by Matt Quartermaine (@mattquarters)Photo by Matt Quartermaine (@mattquarters)Photo by Matt Quartermaine (@mattquarters)Photo by Matt Quartermaine (@mattquarters)Photo by Matt Quartermaine (@mattquarters)
This is a brilliant read.
Les Everett (@LesEverettFreo) profile pictureLes Everett@LesEverettFreoJun 3
open.substack.com/pub/leseve…
Image from Les Everett (@LesEverettFreo)
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Matt Quartermaine retweeted
Stephen Bishop (@BishSongs) profile picture
Stephen Bishop
@BishSongs30 Jul 2025
Animal House was released 47 years ago today. I wrote and sang the theme song, along with another track in the film called ‘Dream Girl.’ And yes, I’m the guy on the stairs whose guitar gets smashed by John Belushi. I still have the guitar and it’s signed by the entire cast.
Image from Stephen Bishop (@BishSongs)
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Michael Stipe and Jason Isbell a few hours ago at a Harris Walz rally. So great. Gets my vote. youtube.com/watch?v=r4a9LZBI…
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The replies are hilarious too.
Janel Comeau 🍁 (@VeryBadLlama) profile pictureJanel Comeau 🍁@VeryBadLlama1 Aug 2024
"childless woman" is such an 19th-century-ass insult. what else you got. do I render inferior tallow? do my cabbages grow pale and blemished? does the quality of my sock-darning bring shame upon my father's name?
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Some old school floppy disc moves.
What I Find On VHS (@WIFO_VHS) profile pictureWhat I Find On VHS@WIFO_VHS6 May 2024
It's @mattquarters poppin and lockin, fool!
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Matt Quartermaine retweeted
David Bridie (@dbridie) profile picture
David Bridie@dbridie8 May 2024
This Sat in Melbourne. A one off show, due to the number of performers and organisation therein, but it's going to be pretty neat. Kerri's piece on Chris Wilson, Kutcha his mum, Callinan his folks diary, Dev-Reservoir baths, Farhad-Manus, Zable humanity, Quarters agedcare staff..
Image from David Bridie (@dbridie)
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youtu.be/l6NOhfbo4-c?si=P7cc… David Bridie and I are proud to present a tribute to the real heroes of the pandemic. David said it might only be on Rage at 4am. Rage at 4am? Says I. I'm in. @sallymcmanus @davidwarner31 @davegraney
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Racism=power+prejudice
The Conversation - Australia + New Zealand (@ConversationEDU) profile pictureThe Conversation - Australia + New Zealand
@ConversationEDU8 Mar 2024
Claims of anti-white or "reverse" racism are based on a shallow, misguided and inaccurate understanding of what racism constitutes writes Mario Peucker from @victoriauninews. theconversation.com/sam-kerr…
Sam Kerr’s alleged comments may have had a racial element, but they were not ‘racist’

Sam Kerr’s alleged comments may have had a racial element, but they were not ‘racist’

Claims of anti-white or “reverse” racism are based on a shallow, misguided and inaccurate understanding of what racism really constitutes.

theconversation.com
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Sorry I'm late to the party but the the Barbie movie is sensational. Great script and jokes and Ryan Gosling is a cack with music by Mark Ronson plus a killer last line. It's like Singing in the Rain done by Monty Python. SUBLIME!
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New season of the Bill has jumped the shark.
Oliver (@OWS1892) profile pictureOliver
@OWS189216 Dec 2023
"Sorry Sir, we're currently unable to investigate your burglary as all our officers are busy clamping down on carol singers."
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Matt Quartermaine retweeted
Jessie Wagner (@Jessie_Wagner) profile picture
Jessie Wagner@Jessie_Wagner16 Dec 2023
Merry Christmas from the Soulettes!🎄🎁🎉 #angels #soulettes #merrychristmas #happyholidays #explore #littlestevenandthedisciplesofsoul – at Queens, NY
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#AccidentalPartridge
Image from Accidental Partridge (@AccidentalP)
Image from Accidental Partridge (@AccidentalP)
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May be the greatest Australian tweet ever.
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Voted early voted yes. Only racists vote no.
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Remember, nobody loves a Nazi except Nazis.
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Cinema Connoisseur (@MovieEndorser) profile pictureCinema Connoisseur
@MovieEndorser25 Sep 2023
Name a Performance That Was Robbed of an Oscar Nomination Mine: Jake Gyllenhaal in NIGHTCRAWLER
Image from Cinema Connoisseur (@MovieEndorser)
Image from Cinema Connoisseur (@MovieEndorser)
Image from Cinema Connoisseur (@MovieEndorser)
Image from Cinema Connoisseur (@MovieEndorser)
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Vampires, we give you the location of every blood bank in Melbourne.
The Age (@theage) profile pictureThe Age
@theage12 Sep 2023
An expected wave of home owners forced to sell because they cannot afford their mortgage has not yet materialised, despite the sharpest rise in interest rates in a generation. theage.com.au/property/news/…
Where are the home owners who can’t afford their mortgages?

Where are the home owners who can’t afford their mortgages?

Interest rates have risen at the fastest pace in a generation and home owners are facing a repayment cliff – with varied results.

theage.com.au
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Sure murderers and paedophiles are bad but the worst of them all are parents picking their kids up from school. You will never meet a lazier more entitled bunch of cunts like the one who PARKED ACROSS MY DRIVEWAY to pick their child up from HIGH SCHOOL.
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open.spotify.com/track/1IF6I… Got to work with the great @dbridie on his spoken word album. A partnership almost as good as our indoor cricket game on Monday.

The Laundry Man

David Bridie, Matt Quartermaine · It’s Been A While Since Our Last Correspondence · Song · 2023

open.spotify.com
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I hope the Au pairs will be okay.
The Age (@theage) profile pictureThe Age
@theage31 May 2023
Incoming AFL chief executive Andrew Dillon will get a taste of his new position in the coming weeks when his predecessor Gillon McLachlan takes a long overdue European holiday. theage.com.au/sport/afl/mcla…
McLachlan heads to Europe for winter of content

McLachlan heads to Europe for winter of content

Incoming AFL chief Andrew Dillon will get a taste of his new position when his predecessor Gillon McLachlan takes a long overdue European holiday. Plus, take an early look at the school footy stars...

theage.com.au
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