mavmind

Clip from my interview with Art Bell, creator of Comedy Central, sharing his most memorable persuasion technique. (with Vinnie Favale of Howard Stern) #artbell #vinniefavale #comedycentral #howardstern #davidletterman #mavmind #hypnosales

Interview with Art Bell, creator of Comedy Central, and Vinnie Favale, of Howard Sterm and David Letterman fame instagram.com/tv/CPDu-QxJQxn #artbell #vinniefavale #comedycentral #comedy #interview #mavmind #hypnosales #persuasion

My mom was a professional clown and growing up, I was always on edge because I didn't know when I might get squirted by a flower or hit in the face with a pie or yelled at for not doing my chores.

Did you hear about the comedian who went on the Rodney Dangerfield diet? So far he’s lost about 10 lbs and everyone’s respect.

Did you hear about the cannibal who went on a Keto diet? He’s only allowed to eat people named “Keto”.  He’s already lost 20 lbs.

When I first started writing jokes, I often found that they were too complex and I often needed to explain them afterwards.  But then I quickly discovered that if I had to explain them, then they weren’t funny.  So, needless to say....

One day I’m going to write a joke about procrastination...yeah...one day...

I want to have an art installation where there is a tiny shelf with a small porcelain sculpture of the Gettysburg address. And when someone says ”Oh. It's supposed to be art statement.” I would say in an Italian accent, “That art a statement is just a figurine of a speech a”.

If two, twelve, and twenty all start with "tw", why is the "w" silent in the first two, but not in the other two?

A wise man once told me to always under promise and over-deliver, but I what the hell does that mean, exactly? First of all, I don’t even know what an "underprom" is and what is over the liver? Your heart? Your lungs, maybe?

I don't like Cancel Culture so I'm starting a new movement to help anyone who has been publicly ostracized via social media. It's called Council Culture.

Donald Mac Old Backwards spoke, O I E I E

Know what annoys me more than anything? These nasty crack whores that just won’t leave my house. I keep telling them I don’t do drugs, I don't have any drugs,  but they somehow manage to find all the places where I hide them.

The don't like the word gerund because it's a total hypocrite.

Have you heard about the new self-cannibal diet? You're ONLY allowed to eat yourself.  It’s not very effective because, like most diets, you do lose a little weight in the beginning, but eventually, it all goes right back on.

A run-on sentence and a pregnant girlfriend are similar because they both are missing periods. They are different, however, in that a run-on sentence won't try and convince you to marry it.

My mom warned me not to put all my eggs in one basket and my dad warned me not to count all my chickens before they hatched.   I'm pretty sure my mom was hiding eggs from my dad.

I tried looking up the word camouflage in the dictionary. Couldn't find it. Someone said it was right next to the word incognito. Couldn't find that one either.  Ironically, I was able to find the word hide. Speaking of deer skins...

Before I start, please be aware, if my wifi suddenly goes out, I might sound like a robot,...and if my wifi doesn't go out, then it'll just be me doing an impression of a robot later