🇺🇸 Life is like a Smoke 🚬
Joined August 2026
- Tweets7.2K
- Following3.2K
- Followers3.6K
- Likes4K
Mr Stuff retweeted
Our seven-year-old neighbour knocked on my door with a clipboard and announced that he ran a "home security company." His rate was $5 a week. I said yes mostly to be kind, and I forgot about it by dinner. On Friday morning, he rang the bell again, handed me a folded paper, and said, "Here's your report." I opened it, and my smile slowly disappeared...
Mr Stuff retweeted
Dirty talk according to guys:
- "You like that?" forty times
- Porn lines word for word
- Total silence, then one random "yeah"
Dirty talk according to girls:
Mr Stuff retweeted
I don't want to shame any particular woman here, but publicly announcing that the #RussellBrand conviction must be wrong because you went home with him and he didn't rape you makes about as much sense as saying 'well, I left 25 Cromwell Street alive, so Fred West's innocent.'
Mr Stuff retweeted
CNN was scheduled to be today’s TV pool. But the White House blocked us from being allowed in for the president’s event in the Oval Office that’s now underway. That means none of the five networks will have audio or video of his remarks.
Mr Stuff retweeted
CANCER RARELY STARTS WITH AGONIZING PAIN. IT USUALLY STARTS WITH A MINOR INCONVENIENCE YOU DECIDE TO IGNORE.
HERE ARE 10 EARLY WARNING SIGNS OF COMMON CANCERS YOU SHOULD NEVER BRUSH OFF.
1. COLON CANCER = BLOOD IN YOUR STOOL.
Mr Stuff retweeted
أبوي فتح لي حساب لزواجي يوم كان عمري 5 سنين.
كل شهر يحط فيه 300.
وكان يقول: «عشان ليلة زواجك، ما تحتاجين أحد.»
23 سنة.
82,800.
في رمضان اللي فات انخطبت، وحددنا موعد الزواج.
رحت للبنك أطلع المبلغ.
الموظفة طالعت في الشاشة، وسكتت شوي، وبعدين قالت:
«الرصيد 4,800.»
قلت أكيد فيه غلط.
ما كان فيه غلط.
طبعت لي كشف الحساب.
أمي كانت شريكة في الحساب من سنين.
وسحوبات متفرقة طول ثمان سنوات: 5 آلاف، 12 ألف، 20 ألف.
وأغلبها قبل بداية الدراسة، وقبل رمضان.
رحت لها، والورقة في يدي.
ما دافعت عن نفسها.
قامت، وفتحت درج الدولاب، وطلّعت دفتر صغير، نفس الدفتر اللي كانت تكتب فيه مقاضي البيت.
كل سحبة لها سطر:
Mr Stuff retweeted
Some news: I’m joining OpenAI to lead product management for Core Products!
I have a lot of respect for OpenAI for showing the world that scaling works, for bringing AI to over a billion people, and for believing great products are core to the mission.
I’m excited to work with @thsottiaux, an incredible PM team, and everyone across OpenAI. Together, we’ll build agents that have your back and your team’s, and keep you in control, so you get more time for the people and work you love.
Lots to learn, and lots to build. Please keep your feedback coming!
Mr Stuff retweeted
Cuando veas un tuit que te gusta o que creas que merece ser leído, le das a «copiar enlace» (no hace falta siquiera que luego lo pegues en ningún sitio).
El algoritmo entiende que ese tuit es interesante y es lo que cuenta ahora, mucho más que los me gusta, comentarios o retuits. 😊
Mr Stuff retweeted
Having sex in the 90s:
Man: I'm sexually attracted to you.
Woman: I'm attracted to you too.
Man: Wanna have sex?
Woman: Sure!
Having sex in 2026:
Mr Stuff retweeted
I want to buy my .com domain. Some dude registered it 18 years ago and never used it. Does anyone have experience with such things? How do I even reach out? I already wrote to the whois email.
Mr Stuff retweeted
La boda de mi amiga Inés fue en Sevilla.
Yo vivo en Valencia.
El tren y el hotel costaron 380 €.
El regalo en sobre fue de 150 €.
Inés: «Te he preparado 50 € para el viaje».
Yo: «¿Cómo?
Mr Stuff retweeted
The only thing that would sway my vote this election is six text messages from an unidentified number during my work day.
Mr Stuff retweeted
今日旦那が不倫旅行から帰ってくるんだけど、1通のLINE『今家いんの？』時たので、
家にいたけど、
娘と外に出てるって言ってみた。
数十分後にガチャっと家が開く音。
帰ってきたと思ったら・・・
Mr Stuff retweeted
You can cancel an election and ban the winner from running (Romania), you can ban your opponents from ever running again (Hungary), you can threaten to ban the main opposition party and subject it to relentless investigations by the secret police (Germany), you can threaten a ban on the leading presidential candidate and make them wear an ankle monitor (France), every member of your circle can be investigated for corruption (Spain), you can try and cancel local elections because you will lose them (Britain), and you can storm the constitutional court with riot police because you want to control it (Poland).
You can just do all these things. The secret is you just have to be on the right side of the European Commission.
