Prune Tracy

Mr. Gorbachev, TEAR DOWN THIS WALLFLOWERS POSTER.

They’re called the Village People because they hate Frankenstein

Hideo Kojima writing Death Stranding:

If you’d bothered to read the article you’d know that RFK Jr is pictured because he ate the mouse

Dave Mustn’taine

So this is why they haven’t been showing Godzilla and King Kong getting it on before now

The height of this basement sink is an affront to all dads who don’t wanna run upstairs just to take a quick piss

“I just finished grad school and I’m looking for something in the public sector; right now I’m bartending for the Time Being.” (A four-dimensional reptilian appears in the room holding an empty highball glass) “Another Long Island Sir?”

2000’s: “Is Idris Elba the next Denzel?” 2020’s: “Catch Idris Elba in the live action Booger Bunch movie next February!”

Cmon guys they don’t even got electricity how are they infiltrating stuff did they just tie a piece of paper that says “communism” to a bird

This is how I find out my wife is secretly also living with twitter dot com user ginger jesus

Madonna disrespectful to the ARFID community

As a teenager we learned Johnny Appleseed was a real guy and he died in the Forever 21 in the Fort Wayne Mall

The Met Gala isthe time for all these celebrities to get their sillies out in a controlled environment like parents who let their kid’s friends drink in their house. “I’d rather have Jared Leto dressing up as a fruity dragon here, where we can hose him down if he gets too rowdy.”

Piss Pants None The Richer

It’s crazy how dog training works because if you gave me one dorito i would not be thinking “oh I guess the promise of one dorito a day is worth holding my turds until you let me go outside” I would be attacking you non-stop until you gave me the whole bag

I want to make an edit of I Am Sam where I cut out all the times people say the “r word” so it’s just a movie where they don’t wanna let a man take care of his daughter because he likes the Beatles too much

I find Anne Hathaway attractive in a “I bet if we dated she would be really mean to me” way

If you adopt an elderly dog from the shelter there’s a good chance it’s last owner died and now they know what people meat tastes like

For some reason today my mind just rejected the fact that it was the year 2026 and I had three separate incidents where i simply could not believe that was the year I was living in.