princey! princi! princé!

yeah.

I have not swiped my card since April. yes, I’m living the life you’ve always dreamed of. no, you may not have any of it.

a message that is “first tweet in 10 months”-worthy: Gloria Hallelujah fried my fave + his mail-order beard-friend real bad. the Memphis/Atlanta wars could reach catastrophic levels behind this. this can only be remedied at Holy Convocation in November. 🙏🏽

oh y'all are some soldiers.

man what the fuck is going on HERE

today was not my day. but then i took a scroll thru my camera roll..... everything is splendid.

these captions

they gon have to put the pieces of that man's jaw in a jewelry box & present it to his family like a Le Vian necklace.

shoutout to the air force veterans ONLY. you know why.

for the second time this year, a pair of leather pants taught me tonight that my calves are two completely different sizes. hate that for everyone.

if we could trade the "generou$" niggas to the straight women in exchange for the "come over for the first link" niggas, life would be so much easier for everyone.

my team had an aneurysm irl, but the fantasy spread was surgical.

*squints* you owe this young lady $163,942.

okay wait i'm still here bc of ALL the fucking games you could've chosen to saw your goddamn foot off....

at the end of the day, Saints fans: my momma is still prettier than yours. let's focus on what matters here generationally.

that man missed three kicks in a 17-20 game. how am i not shooting en masse right now???? weed. that's how.

we deserve that stupid ass loss. just fucking stupid.

L M A O

this is unreal.

put his bags on the sidewalk RIGHT FUCKING NOW